OK, last night I met a really cute guy that I definitely want to get to know better. He seems to like me a lot and I’m pretty sure this could develop into more than a one-night stand. The fly in the ointment is that he told me he’s HIV positive. That didn’t really knock me off of the bar stool or stop us from kissing. My question is how deep do I get myself into this situation (pun intended)? I have like no experience and it could be an emotional rollercoaster for both of us . Sure, I could tell the guy that I’m not up to dealing with an HIV positive boyfriend and leave it at that. But my gut feeling tells me that I should give this guy a shot and see how it develops. My common sense tells me that I might start confusing pity with love. And he might be looking more for a sex partner and companion for different reasons. There is a big age difference so I’m kinda flattered that he would even be interested in me. It looks like we might fall in love for all the wrong reasons:bang: . So does it matter? Any words of wisdom on how to proceed will be highly appreciated.
One bit of advice. DON'T BE A DUMBASS. This means don't kiss him when you have open sores or lesions on your tongue, lips, etc, and NO SEX WITHOUT A CONDOM. I'm pretty sure common sense tells you all this, but I'd hate to see you get this...
HIV is a very dangerous virus.. But, so are most STDs. Since it is common sense to always follow safe sex practices, the difference in a relationship with someone who has HIV (or what has become AIDS) is how you feel about them and your fear. So, if you think something could develop, why not see what happens? Just remember to always be honest. If it appears you can't get past their status, just be honest with yourself and him. Good luck, .
Thanks! I've had a week to think it over and the attraction is definitely there, with or without the HIV issue. The guy is just irresistable. He's gone back to live with his former boyfriend (8 weeks) but has been completely honest with me and it's more than casual infatuation. We'll see how it develops. Of course there will be nothing but safe sex but somehow I feel like I'm already being a "dumbass", just falling for him. Could be a very complicated relationship but I'm ready for the challenge:eusa_doh: .
I feel like falling for anyone is a pretty dumbass move, but that's just because I have a very cynical view of romantic relationships. Seriously, it's nice that you found someone "irresistible," even if the situation is a little complicated because he's HIV+. I echo tinkergeek, especially this part: "If it appears you can't get past their status, just be honest with yourself and him."
Hey BaciListClostridium, even if it is "dumbass", romantic relationships are so much fun (!) . This is only my second and both of them are complicated but they have certainly spiced up my life and I wouldn't want to have missed either one . As far as his HIV status, I have no fear of that at all. The only thing that scares me is how I will handle the situation if his health begins to fail. But that's a risk I'm willing to take. At least it's not stopping me from loving him. Time will tell.
Actually things are going great. I just have to share since his other boyfriend provides him a place to stay and is rather jealous What matters is that I can see him at all, not as often as I would like. I just love being with him so there's no way I'm giving up .
i think that would be too hard and too much work to date someone whos Hiv positive. I hope yall relationship works out goodluck!
Hey, it's not hard at all, especially if you love the person (and I do):eusa_danc . The precautions are the same whether someone is positive or not. Before I met him I had never given the subject much thought. Now I've become reasonably smart on the subject. Here is a site that provides lots of good info. http://www.thebodypro.com/index.shtml
You can have a relationship and still be safe. As stated before, no unprotected sex. Be mindful of any open sores you or he have on your mouths or genitals. Though not the highest risk, avoid having him ejaculate in his mouth. There is a slight chance the virus may find a small tear in the gums. Do not brush your teeth before giving oral sex. Above all, just use your common sense. You can not be too safe, I think.