Does anyone relate to this dilemma? I have Graves' disease and celiac, and also am being evaluated for rheumatoid arthritis (which I probably have) and other autoimmune issues. I spend a lot of time low on energy and in pain. I'd also like to find a partner but I find that on the online dating sites, most of the women are type A go-getters who are super busy all the time and super physically active. I really need someone who will not make me feel bad about my situation, and who doesn't require I be her biking and hiking partner, who is okay with my low key lifestyle and slow pace of life and who is okay with the fact that I don't spend my free time being super busy or fixing up the house. I'm getting back into exercise but it is more along the lines of yoga and tai chi and walking, not competitive or high impact stuff. I am also 39 but have moved back in with my parents because of health issues forcing me to be unemployed for a while (to qualify for health care for my issues, but also, I can no longer work in the field I used to work in; I lost a lot of physical strength and stamina due to the Graves' and was not able to regain it). I used to work in health care. After i moved back, I went back to college with the goal of being able to do less physically demanding work. I'm not financially in the position of someone who has never been ill, nor am I financially in the position of most people in my age group unless they've endured some kind of setback or themselves had to undergo a total career change. I no longer have a car and can barely even afford a social life. I'm concerned about being a burden on someone between my physical and financial situations. When I am not at school or at my part time job, I am exhausted. I spend my free time doing very low key things like watching tv and my social activities tend to more often be things like watching movies, talking, or playing games. My physical energy has to be saved for going to school and work and those take it all out of me. I'm not up to climbing mountains or going biking with a woman. Frankly I need someone else who is type B, or who is content to do all that stuff without me. At the same time I feel I should be as entitled to love as anyone else. I feel like I need to find love NOW while I can still enjoy it, like I need to enjoy life and like there is nothing wrong with wanting this.
I can relate in a way. I have a lot of GI problems that cause me a lot of pain and discomfort and severely impact my life to the point where I can't even work or go to school anymore. I spend most of my time home reading, watching tv, on the internet and things like that. I do however have a girlfriend who is very understanding and supportive. We were together before I started having these issues and I was one of those people who hated to be home, was always out and doing something and took her out all the time. It was a huge adjustment for the both of us but she's becoming okay with not being able to go out a lot. I was lucky enough to find a girl who would stick by me through all of this which means there are others out there as well and I'm sure there is someone out there for you who will understand what you're going through and love you despite those things.
Yeah, I know the feeling. I have a neurological condition which has far-reaching effects on my health, particularly in that I have a serious balance problem and sometimes-crippling fatigue issues. I can't join people in going hiking or jogging or skating or any physical activities they really enjoy, and I definitely feel like there are people who look down on me for it.
I have a similar condition. I pass out frequently. It gets tough at times to even get up. Graves disease can be cured and there after the OP would need to be on Synthroid or a generic. But the healing is there. She needs to see and Endocrinologist.
My graves has actually been under control on meds - the thing is though is that I never got my energy and stamina back to what it used to be. And now I have these other issues which are a bigger problem.
I'm a member of the sickie club! I'm not sure if I have celiac or not. Over the last 12 years or so, I've tested negative, then positive, then negative, then positive and now back to negative (and I'm talking blood work AND biopsies). All I know for sure is that my tummy and I have never gotten along. I also have thalassemia, which means I'm freakin' exhausted all the time, no matter what I do and Lichen Sclerosus (which you really don't want to know anything about, but if you're really feeling brave, you're welcome to google it) and severe depression that leave me incapable of leaving my bed for 6 months at a time, every 2 years. I also get menstrual cramps so severe that the pain radiates up my spine and down to my knees, meaning that I collapse upon standing. But that's only one day a month. Whether or not I'm capable of joining in activities really depends on the day, and can change at a moments notice. Most of my friends have issues of their own (or have known me for long enough that it's par for the course) so they understand, but it has definitely interfered with past romantic relationships. It sucks to be made to feel like you're the bad guy because of something outside of your control. Some people don't seem to get that, however much it may disappoint or inconvenience them that you're sick, it's 100x worse for YOU.
