"Breaking up" with my therapist?

I know that feeling, sort of. I started seeing a counsellor at school and while she was helpful, now that there's other things I want to talk about I'm just not comfortable sharing them with her. I felt really bad, but I did only see her for like a month total, so I basically just cancelled my appointment through the office and looked into seeing someone else.

To me, if you're going to therapy you only get as much out of it as you put in, and that involves honesty. So just be honest with him. It might be awkward, but I'm sure you can explain to him that you appreciate all his help but want to move onto other things where you think a more relatable therapist would be more beneficial. If he's a half-decent therapist, he'l understand that you need to do what's best for you.

But don't stress about it too much. At the end of the day, you are their customer, and if they're not providing the services you need, then move on to better things.

 

I work in a behavioral health facility, and trust me therapists are use to this. Different people have different preferences on who they wish to see and what gender they feel more comfortable with. I would just tell him you feel more comfortable with a female and see if there is someone he can refer you to.

 

Hi.

I am a newly licensed mental health counselor, and have broken up with both a psychiatrist and and therapist, so maybe I can be a bit of help.

I can understand being afraid...I also fear people being angry with me whenever I express an opinion.

From the client perspective...with the psychiatrist, I called the office, talked to the receptionist and explained that I was looking for a better connection to the Dr. than I had with Dr. S. She pressed it and so I went for it and said "I felt uncomfortable with how he responded when I mentioned feeling suicidal and I would like someone who is more empathetic." She thanked me and that was that.

With the therapist, we had a good relationship, so I just told her in the last session that I was going to take a break from therapy and then maybe look for another therapist when it was time to return. We had a chance to say our goodbyes and I still see her around town and it's not awkward.

As a therapist myself, I really like it when clients tell me when they are discontinuing. Gives me a chance to say goodbe, wish them well and then get any feedback on their therapy experience. And, it saves the worry and tracking that happens if a client leaves without discontinuing, considering the risk of suicide, etc. Therapists are obligated to know that clients have discontinued, and that they are stable enough to be without counseling, or that they have moved on to another therapist and that care is continuing. So, clients discontinuing with me directly is the ideal.

That said, if you feel you can talk it through with your therapist, you can explain that a) you want a female counselor or b) want someone who specializes in LGBT issues. These are neutral concerns that are not about whether or not you like him.

If you don't feel comfortable with a face to face conversation, leave a letter explaining your reasons with the receptionist and ask her to give it to the counselor. This gives him the information he needs and keeps your anxiety down.

Hope that helps.

Jason

 

I understand the fears and concerns. We have discussed this in the past. The therapist has lost clients in the past and will lose them in the future. You need to have someone who understands the complete you and can deal with you as a whole person. I have said before it is time to move on.
One thing people forget is that the Doctor is really hired help. They can be released from your employ. I have learned this in dealing with my own heath issues.
All you have to do is remember this and tell him. He will understand. You need a good fit and he is not it. Hugs and love angel

 

You can always tell him that you made great improvements in other areas, which you will carry forward, but you now feel that you need someone else to discuss your sexuality with.