I'm so tried of fighting

How about instead of cutting you talk. Do you want to tell me what's bothering you right now?

 

Did something trigger this? What caused the rug to be ripped out from under you?

 

Just like she said... Just let us know what is up. Even a few words you can release and we are here for you girl!

(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)

I know it's just a form but it means the world to me and you have been a great friend to me on here.

 

I'm sorry you're feeling like everything is so out of control now. Is there something you could do that would make you feel like your life is not out of your control? If there was one thing you could "fix" what would it be?

A friend who walks away suddenly isn't a friend you want to keep anyway. I know it's a little cliche but it's true.

Why did you quit your current therapist? If it wasn't a good fit, then that's a good reason to move on and nothing to worry about. Have you researched a new one yet.

It sounds like you're making progress on accepting being gay. That's a good thing.

 

Seriously I so wish you realized you are a beautiful person and you have been a beautiful friend to me in the brief time I have known you...so these people are missing out knowing you.

The therapist is probably just ignorant...my first one was. She had this unprofessional edge come out when talking with me bout the hardest revelation ever. At first you bane yourself but you are IN NO WAY wrong to leave them. You will find a great next therapist. It hurts not having that support in place I bet...but it will be soon!

 

Ok I hear you. I understand that cutting provides some sense of control. But how about something other than cutting? Something that might enact a more permanent change so that you don't end up feeling this way as often? Do you find anything fulfilling and completely engaging? It might be able to distract you from cutting while providing you with an outlet.

It sounds like the new therapist is a very good start. If your old therapist wasn't ok for you then you are not wrong to quit and I completely and totally assure you that you have not betrayed him in anyway.

 

When I feel out of control...I have compulsions too..it seems like a relief but it s just temporary. The more I worked through it...the stronger I got for the next time. And the compulsion, though sooooo intense...always passed if I could just breathe....vent....breathe.

It will get better. You are already taking positive steps! A new therapist! You shouldn't feel like you betrayed him. He helped you with a ton I bet ..but with this you needed another helper to take your through your journey. You could even write him a letter or card thanking him. I thought about doing that after switching therapist. Truly you are feeling normal things!

 

Yeah what newgirl31 said. She's better at this. I apologize.

I'm a "fixer" and a list maker. That's how I make myself feel better when I feel like my life is crumbling. My coping techniques might not work for you though. We're all different.

To get my brain to shut off though I draw. i draw for hours.

 

Sorry I hope I am not butting in too much.

But once I realized my compulsion wasn't helping me be in control...it was controlling me that helped me.

---------- Post added 25th Feb 2013 at 10:21 PM ----------

Haha...it just occurred to me there are 3 totally insecure girls prob in similar messed up places in their lives all helping give each other security...or at least trying the best we can!

Sorry shouldn't laugh.

 

Hey I know exactly how you're feeling (minus the cutting) I just seriously want to give up sometimes, and somehow I have managed to keep pushing. I know everyone on this forum cares and tries their best, but it isn't the same as someone caring and trying their best in reality. I just want you to know your not alone and I would love to talk if you ever need to :/

 

Just go throw it in the trash. Right now. Lay down, take a breath, and I just feel nothing for a little bit.

 

And you are a beautiful person! Your brain is lying to you...mine lies to me. I see it as my compulsion talking...trying to give me reasons to act out in it.

Look how many people you have talked to and shared your story with and helped on here! That is beautiful. You posted pics of what I assume is really you...and she is beautiful.

---------- Post added 25th Feb 2013 at 10:29 PM ----------

Or if you can just go in the other room and don't even touch it. It WILL pass.

 

Newgirl31 is right. And you know what? You were one of the first people that helped me on here in my initial questioning thread. You have no idea how much your input helped me then, and I don't think I properly thank you. So thank you. You make a real difference. (*hug*)

 

I'm not a cutter but I've battled anorexia on and off for more than half my life. Not eating is what I do to feel in control. Unfortunately, that's not terribly compatible with life. I still stop eating in response to stress sometimes, but usually what helps me feel more in control is to make a plan. Figure out what is bothering me, and figure out what I can do to address it.

You shouldn't feel bad about switching therapists. A good therapist will want you to get the help you need; if he cannot provide it, then he should want you to find someone who can. And if your friends are walking away, that says more about them than you. That is a very difficult situation to be in, and I've been there before (not due to being gay, but as a teenager when I was severely underweight and my friends couldn't cope). There's not a lot you can do in the short-term about that, but try to be social and make new, open-minded friends. As for being gay, what about it specifically makes it not okay? Is moving to a more accepting part of the country an option at all?