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Nervous Breakdown???

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by pinklov3ly, Mar 7, 2013.

  1. pinklov3ly

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    Long story short, I've accepted myself as a lesbian, as I am more attracted to women. I consider myself homoflexible meaning that there's this one guy who I would love to spend my life. He is the father of my kids and I love him dearly. He just doesn't accept who I am. I want him in my life even as a friend, but he believes that it will take a while to get to that level. I've been trying to respect his feelings, but it's so hard. I feel like caving in and just living a lie because being straight seems-- IS so much easier. I'm sure this is probably repetitive, but I'm just so sad right now :tears:

    I have kids, so I cannot just check myself into a facility. They are keeping me strong and I feel like a horrible parent for putting them in this position. They will be 6, 5 & 10 this year and they know what being gay means. However, I am waiting to have that talk with them once they are old enough to understand. It's so hard pretending that I'm okay when I'm really not :icon_redf

    I was dating a girl, but I decided to just remain single at the moment until I can figure out my life. Any advice is greatly appreciated, thanks (*hug*)
     
    #1 pinklov3ly, Mar 7, 2013
    Last edited: Mar 7, 2013
  2. Shadowsettler

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    I just got out of a 6 year relationship with a woman recently and we've become friends, but only because we want to be friends. We still love each other dearly, but it just wasn't working out. If anything you can try in futile to make it last, but it won't. It just came at me harder, and it rocked my world pretty bad to say the least.

    If you're going to tell him anything, let him know that you still love him and always will.
     
  3. pinklov3ly

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    I've told him how much he means to me. We love each other, but I know that it will not work. I'm just having a difficult time accepting it. I mean, I see all of my Facebook friends with their opposite sex significant others' in pictures and it makes me so jealous. I know that I can have that with a woman, but I'm still grieving the loss of my heterosexuality. Even though, I know that I was never straight. Pretending was easy, but now that I want a meaningful relationship with a woman, I have to let him go. My inability to do so is making me feel like I'm going to breakdown eventually. I know that I will be okay someday, it's just not going to happen anytime soon.
     
  4. Lez

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    Sorry that I don't have any advice, but thank you for posting. Reading you last thread was really helpful to me...QUOTE=pinklov3ly;1388946]I'm still grieving the loss of my heterosexuality. Even though, I know that I was never straight...[/QUOTE] I've never thought about it that way. If I'm grieving loss it explains a lot! Puts things in a different perspective. Thanks. (*hug*)
     
  5. pinklov3ly

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    I'm glad to help, you're not alone (*hug*)