I’m sorry in advance for the length, and the triggery-ness of this, but details are needed to convey the totally baffling weirdness of this scenario. Thoughts/opinions/advice are welcome but attempts at shaming will be met with equal force--just saying.:eusa_naug Person #1 #1 is a female. From the age of 9-16 she was physically, emotionally and sexually abused repeatedly by an adult male (non-family) in a position of authority over her. She was told if she revealed the abuse she would be hurt severely or killed. At age 13, the rapes result in pregnancy, she gives birth at 14, the child goes into the foster care system. She manages to eventually avoid her abuser, but still lives under his threats if she reveals his identity. At age 18, she hires a lawyer, and seeks custody of her child. The abuser finds out she is seeking custody, and abducts the child from foster care, and kills the child. The abuser is convicted, and goes to jail for life. Person #1 identifies as lesbian, and lives her life without any intimate relationships with men. 25 years pass, therapy is done, PTSD is manageable, and anxiety meds are working. #1 decides that at last she is ready to take back what was stolen from her, and try finding out if she is capable of having romantic/physical relationships with a man. She asks her female partner to help her with this process.(*hug*) #2 is a female bisexual with no history of abuse or trauma. She has had lovely relationships with men, and now with a woman as well. She is willing to help in any way possible, but is out of her depth as Person #1 asks her to not only help her meet a man, but to physically be part of their relations, in order to provide a feeling of safety for person #1 during the act, and to act as an advocate before/during/after the attempts at physical intimacy. Person #2 attempts to learn about ethical non-monogamy, as no other sort of label seems to fit the situation, since a casual sex hook-up is NOT the solution for this deeply sensitive dilemma. Person #2 is called the most despised of all things to polyamorists--the Dreaded Unicorn Hunter, and scorn, ridicule and abuse are heaped on her head. Because she has sworn to respect Person #1’s privacy, she cannot explain the unique nature of her search for a third person to join their relationship. Person #2 develops a severe headache.:bang: #3 is hypothetical at this point. He is a straight, middle-aged male willing to be friends with #1 and #2, and have this friendship develop into a loving enough relationship that he can in good faith join them in trying to discover the truth about #1’s sexuality. He would need to be patient, caring, gentle and kind. Other than that, no expectations will be placed on him. He must be free to act of his own will, because he genuinely cares enough to try and help, and is willing to lend his mind, heart, and body to his friends to accomplish that.:eusa_clap Thoughts? Advice? Warnings? Opinions? What would *you* do with this situation?:eek:
I know this is an old thread, but I see no problem with this. I am not one for hook ups and threesomes or anything, but this is clearly a different situation. #1 needs help with a situation and getting over a trauma, and this is the only way for her to get over her trauma.
