I'm not used to being single after initiating a split from my fiance (lack of sexual attraction from my side, probably cos I'm gay, but we got on great and I can't stop punishing myself for losing him because now I miss him like crazy). I also have hardly any friends near where I live. I'm also now in love with a woman who lives in another country. We've been messaging each other for 7 months now. She's sometimes really loving and sometimes distant. We skyped once and became really close but then now it's really hard to get her to agree a time when she can skype. She says she's busy but then I find that she's been tweeting stuff all day, etc. In the very loving period she sent me a video of herself and it seemed very genuine. She always seems genuine in that phase. But then she goes distant and seems like a different person. It's like a cycle of this. She tells me she loves me and sent me flowers for my birthday last week. But then would rather tweet random shit to get followers than talk to me. I know I should move on but I've never had feelings for anyone like I have for her. And there's nowhere to go and meet people in my small town. I really want to go and meet her in person but it's got to the point that I'd worry that she wouldn't turn up in her distant phase! I've just been sat crying at my computer for most of the day. I'm so lonely now.
