So, lately I've been bombarded with stress (from school, work, and family) and recently, about two weeks ago my grandfather suddenly died from a stroke. It was very sudden so I didn't get a chance to get closure or anything and that's been weighing me down since he died. Put that with the news that my uncle, who murdered someone in self defense about five years ago and was sentenced to thirty years in jail, is coming back to town for a retrial because of misconduct at the first trial and I haven't been doing so well lately. Ever since my grandfather died, I've been holding my breath wondering who in my family is going to be next and I've been jumpy with physical contact from people I trust and my cat's sudden movement has got me on edge. Several months ago, some friends and I passed a joint around and it did a lot to alleviate my anxiety/get me to relax (I'm the type of person who rarely lets my guard down). Ever since then, I've been wanting to do it again to get that relaxed feeling - I haven't done so, however, because I have a very addictive personality and I don't think I'm going to stop at just marijuana. Something that also started just after I tried marijuana for the first time is the start of my on again off again drinking problem. When my grandfather died I started drinking again to cope but the past several nights (which is when I've been drinking) the alcohol hasn't been helpful, so I've been thinking about buying some weed and using that instead. I know I shouldn't, and there's a community organization that knows quite a bit of my history that I am going to contact for support, but I'm worried in between now and the next meeting I have with my counselor I'm going to end up falling off the drug free bandwagon. I'm...very conflicted about this - a big part of me wants to get high, but the other part knows it wouldn't be a good decision. So, that's kind of where my head's been at lately. :help:
It's not worth it, it really isn't in the long run. Marijuana still has negative health effects about the same as smoking so remember that, it's not completely harmless; not to mention that if hanging around in these places puts you in a situation where you are going to use heavier drugs, that isn't good either. It's much easier to avoid taking things in the first place then trying to get off of them once your addicted. Withdraw is a huge pain and expense and you don't want to have to go down that path. You should find some friends that don't use drugs or are supportive of yourself being clean/sober. Find an AA group if it makes you feel better since it's clear that your not drinking casually but out of some need to relax/from stress. Even if you do something don't punish yourself for it and make more stress; you don't need to feel stressed about your feelings which are understandably natural. Just work towards something else, pick up a hobby or work at getting in shape, reading, writing, etc. It's not healthy to dwell on things all the time, it can be overwhelming and isn't setting you up to make good decisions. Hope you feel better, just try and take it easy. (*hug*).
Hi, It's good that you are recognizing the problem. Don't let anyone tell you that it's not an issue, because with your addictive history, it almost certainly will be. Convoy gives you some great advice. One of the most important things to remember is that when you have an addictive personality (and/or genetic predisposition, if there are others in your family with a history of addiction), you simply don't have the options that others have to casually drink/smoke weed/use drugs/etc. Likewise, you are also at risk even for prescribed anti-anxiety meds. I also strongly recommend AA. Not only will it help you stay sober, you can find a great group of people who are interested in fun activities that don't involve alcohol or drugs. And outside of AA, there are also people who aren't in recovery, but simply don't have use for alcohol or drugs... but it may take a bit of effort to find them. The good news is, there are quite a few other good ways to reduce stress and/or anxiety without using weed, alcohol, or other drugs. Meditation, guided imagery, breathing exercises, quite a few other things. Feel free to message me if you'd like some input about some options in that regard. Th
Thanks for opening up and looking for help. I suffer from bad anxiety and have had many rough moments with it. Marijuana might help for about 3 seconds, but it isn't a fix. Before someone comes along and says "but it's the best thing ever!", you have to look at the consequences. You can't really do much when you do it - no driving, nothing important......so a lot of your life is shot. I'd also suggest AA or a good therapist. AA would be a nice start if you can't go to therapy or want to start slow. It's such a good feeling when you know that YOU can control your issues, and not a pill or a drink or a drug.
At the heart of the matter is self-medication as a means to avoid stress. Getting rid of "feeling stressed" isn't the same thing as getting rid of the stress. When the high wears off, the stress is still there and you're just left with a craving for getting high again. It is something that you need to talk with your counselor about- both the craving to get high and also the way that you're coping with stress.
Exactly right, i have really bad anxiety problems and smoke weed. trust me if you already have past addiction issue's pot is not something you want to add to that list. it just another problem you don't need, temporarily it may relieve some stress, but it slowly drives you insane over a long period. i smoke weed and pot is bad m'kay
Thanks for the words of advice, everyone. I'm going to try get in and see my counselor this week and let her know what's going on. I believe the hardest part will be resisting the temptation between now and then, though, so if anyone has any suggestions of how to manage that effectively that would be great. I live in a small community where everyone knows everyone so AA isn't an option for me at the moment, but I'll see if I can find a group outside of AA with members living drug free/alcohol free lifestyles.
