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My thoughts are getting worse.

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by PinkFluff, Mar 21, 2013.

  1. PinkFluff

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    Last time I talked about my homicidal thoughts of mass shooting. I've noticed now it is degenerating. I have more thoughts each day now of it, blaming others for nothing and constantly wanting to die. I can't sleep.

    PS. I know video games means nothing, but I will play Hitman: Blood Money and stage out huge attacks where I detonate bombs over numerous points in the map and gun down people when they run away.
     
    #1 PinkFluff, Mar 21, 2013
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2013
  2. wildeflower

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    so I read your other post to catch up a bit, and the only advice I can give you is to seek professional help. You're clearly hurting yourself with these thoughts and it may help to have someone to talk to and to help you.
    If you don't want to tell your parents what is going on, you can tell them there is something but you cannot talk to them about it, and just want some professional help.
    I hope this helps
     
  3. Darkru

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    Don't give up hope. A lot of people here have gone through what sounds to me like depression, myself included. I agree with wildeflower and I think you should seek professional help. Your parents don't need to know what it's about.
     
  4. Aldrick

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    First of all, let me say that this isn't your fault. You aren't "choosing" to have these thoughts.

    There can be any number of causes for you having these thoughts. They can range from a brain tumor to something like a chemical imbalance in your brain. The fact that these are unwanted thoughts, and that you're coming here to seek help proves that you don't want to carry out the actions. Yet, you could find that your aggression grows worse over time.

    This is a serious issue that you cannot ignore. If you don't want to talk to your parents, my recommendation is to go to your family doctor. Tell him about your unwanted thoughts, growing aggression, and suicidal thoughts.

    It's easy to look at your thoughts and be horrified and ashamed by them. But these thoughts are not the same as desires. This isn't your fault, and it isn't your choice. However, this is a dire medical issue you don't know the cause. You know something isn't right.

    You must go to the doctor. Tell him that you need to figure out what is going on right now. If it comes down to the fact that you need to talk to your parents, then you can ask your doctor to do it for you. I'm quite certain that your parents will be pleased that you sought help, and will be supportive in whatever treatment is necessary to help you. No sane parent wants their child to think or feel like this, and they certainly don't want their child acting out such thoughts.

    You need to go to the doctor. Do it today.
     
  5. photoguy93

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    I suffer from Panic Disorder and all around intense anxiety. I have these thoughts. Over the years, they got worse - but so did my anxiety. It could be anything - what you mentioned or, say for a germaphobe, "the toilet is so dirty. I have to clean it all the time." Or "I am such a bad person, I'll just end up being a bad person..."

    I've discussed it with my therapist and one of the conclusions we came to is that my anxiety wants to create a situation that I would FUCKING HATE. I don't care about a toilet - but my germaphobic friend would just DIE. she, obviously, doesn't want to harm people either - but she can blow it off. It's hard for me.

    We know killing is bad - it's pretty close to the one insanely horrible thing to do (pets, too....animals are so amazing. So it scares us to think of doing anything.)

    My point is that a lot of us have these thoughts because they freak us the fuck out. You are not a serial killer if you think about it - you're here telling us about it. It doesn't help that we hear about the mass murderers and how "they tried to get help" and all of that. Are these thoughts normal? Normal is relative but it does indicate a problem. As I said, I have bad anxiety issues. You could be suffering from depression or a number of things.

    You need to seek professional help from someone you trust. I wasn't as open with my last therapist and it wasn't helpful.

    I don't want anyone to think I'm making excuses, but I've always felt like it helps to take some of the pressure off.

    Best of luck, ok?