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My boyfriend has started smoking Marijuana. I'm worried.

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by marcos220000, Mar 29, 2013.

  1. marcos220000

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    Good evening,

    I have a boyfriend who moved six months ago to Germany.
    We continued in a long distance relationship, seeing each other and having dates through skype frequently throughout the week.

    But I noticed a change in him not so long ago. He started to forget our appointments. He seemed less interested in the relationship.

    I didn't know what was going on until I learned he had met a friend who had introduced him to Marijuana. He's character has changed. He seems careless now, about the relationship and about seeing me, and, I feel, in other general aspects of life. He now spends the time we used for seeing each other, which is at night, when the time difference and our schedules allowed us, to smoke. In fact he smokes several times a week now.

    I myself have never tried weed, and don't know too much about it. The information out there can be quite contradictory. I'm confused and worried.

    I guess I'd like to know what the health or general side effects of his new habit are. If he's at risk. Or if that will affect his personality in a negative way.

    Thanks in advance.
     
  2. nikom87

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    I don't think that there is anything negative or addictive about weed per se, but perhaps in the environment/culture that could surround it, which might explain your boyfriend's behavior. If he is in a new place, away from home and you, he may have sought out a place to feel comfortable. And that new place might involve weed and a bunch of people whose lives are revolved around weed. I think you could almost substitute anything here: Alcohol, parties in general, surfing, anything that a person might get infatuated with and get detached from what they previously enjoyed.

    I am sorry that it feels like he has distanced himself from you and hasn't been contacting you as much. I would talk to him and see if there is something else going on that has caused this sudden change.
     
  3. Sully

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    In my experiences with marijuana, it is both HARMLESS and entirely DESTRUCTIVE! It entirely depends on how much people smoke. I maybe smoke once every 2 months (sometimes more, sometimes less, for example I think it has been once in the last 6 months for me).

    For me and anybody this rate is HARMLESS. However I've had friends that started smoking more regularly and it turned into a daily thing. I hate to say it, but they're now a shadow of who they used to be. It's not like heroin or anything like that, but it changes you, I've noticed massive personality changes with friends like this and it ends up really messing with their heads, massive anxiety problems etc.

    I think of it as a drug that just makes you stupid. People do become stoners. All they do it just smoke pot. People that had talent and drive just LOSE IT ALL! I've had one week of smoking heavily, straight after school and friends of mine rented a house for a week and we just smoked heaps. I'm not kidding when I say it made me so unmotivated for the following week, to the point where I'd be sitting on the couch watching TV, and either needing to eat or even go to the toilet! And I just wouldn't bother!

    Now it just makes me irritable the next few days so I think it's a bit of shit drug to be honest. But others don't.

    It seriously is something that you need to think about talking to your boy friend about. Don't think that telling him he's not allowed to smoke is going to change anything. It tends to just make things worse. Let him know your concern, but you've got to understand, people change, whether through drugs or just moving away.

    To answers in short from my experience:
    - yes he's at risk, anyone who smokes is
    - loss of motivation
    - irritability
    - people who do it really regularly seem to lose touch with who they used to be, IME they can't even see how they've changed
    - falling out with friends

    Heaps of other stuff as well. Sorry if I've freaked you out at all, but I think you deserve to know.
     
  4. xashesxx

    xashesxx Guest

    From my experiences with weed, it doesn't change your overall personality. It'll change how you act when you are high. The only time I've seen it get to someone and change them is when they smoke it 24/7. There's really nothing wrong with weed, like health wise. It's not really addictive, and it won't make you sick. I'm not some massive pot head, but I grew up with one. It only changed him, because he was always high. I wouldn't worry too much about the pot.

    Good luck though!
     
  5. Chip

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    Marijuana is far from harmless. Ask any of the tens of thousands of people who are in rehab because of it, or the countless others whose lives have been severely negatively impacted by it, directly or indirectly.

    It is not as harmful or addictive as, say, heroin or cocaine or methamphetamine, but because it acts on the dopamine system, it has the potential to be addictive. And for many people, habitual use does cause all of the things you're describing... lethargy, a loss of interest in life and activities, decreased productivity.

    Some people can use it occasionally or fairly regularly and still be productive. But many, many others cannot. And the bigger issue here is... when it comes to choosing between the drug, and a relationship, someone with a dependency (which it seems like he has already developed) will almost always choose the drug.

    If it were me, I would ask him to make a choice between me and the drug, because personally, I have no interest in being with anyone who uses drugs (yes, weed is a grug) even on an occasional basis. Others may be a lot more tolerant, and perhaps you are one... but the concern I have in this case is, it is already having a pretty severe effect on your relationship, on his productivity, and his general demeanor, and that isn't a positive thing.

    So if you do nothing... you can expect the situation to stay the same or get worse. And if you stick around him, it is almost certain that he'll do his best to convince you to join him in using it also, as people with dependency issues nearly always try to convince their friends to join them, as they then feel less bad about themselves. Just a word to the wise :slight_smile:
     
  6. Dublin Boy

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    This One

    I had a friend who was quite placid & never got into fights, he was not the aggressive type, he then started smoking weed & his personality changed, he was in a relationship with a girl & he started beating her, he even knocked her out once.

    It turns out that when he was a child his Dad used to come home drunk from the pub & go up to his bedroom & beat him up, he kept this hidden in his sub conscience mind & smoking the weed brought it all to the surface & made him violent :icon_sad:
     
  7. KaraBulut

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    The thing that you may want to think about is whether marijuana is the cause or the symptom.

    From your story, I would wonder whether the issue is that he's going through a depression- which would explain the behavior changes- and he's using to avoid dealing with his depression.

    Anytime there's someone who is using alcohol or drugs to excess or as a means to self-medicate, they have a problem. It doesn't matter whether it's prescription meds, over-the-counter meds, liquor, marijuana or street drugs.
     
  8. Aldrick

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    I just wanted to echo what Kara said. You wrote that he recently relocated six months ago. Since he's left you, his friends, and possibly his family behind - well, that's a recipe for depression.
     
  9. sguyc

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    I think you are looking for something to blame for problems in the relationship. And I honestly thinking you are looking at the wrong things to blame. Weed doesn't magically change how people feel towards each other. Its just a high.

    Edit: well aparrently some people do change, I have just never witnessed anything dramatic.
     
    #9 sguyc, Mar 30, 2013
    Last edited: Mar 30, 2013