1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

No libido

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by reov3596, Mar 30, 2013.

  1. reov3596

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2012
    Messages:
    19
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Dallas, Texas
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I don't know if this is really the right section, but I think it fits in a way.
    I know for sure that I'm gay, I know in my other posts I seemed unsure, but I've definitely grown since then and have realized that I am definitely gay, so I'm just kinda ruling that out.
    I'm a 15 yo male, and I just simply have little desire in sex whatsoever. Like, I know that you're supposed to be hormonal sexually raging person at this age, and I simply am not. I guess I'll get "horny" in very random times, very infrequently. Even viewing explicit content simply doesn't do anything most of the time.
    I just don't understand. I feel like I'm missing out on a part of my life, or at least confused or something. There's definitely an issue though. I just don't really know what to do because, I know I'm young, but I am in a relationship and it is really serious. I love this guy and I just feel like, at times he wants sex, and I mean, I do find him attractive and I would love to make him happy, it's just I can't... This isn't a problem with him though, he understands and still loves me. I think that's really sweet in it's own way.

    I guess I'm just asking, has this happened to anyone? Or had a similar experience and were able to deal/fix it.
    Or do y'all think that there's something else going on, that I'm just unable to see.
    Thanks for reading, this has been really bothering me and I just simply don't know how to feel about it.
     
  2. Caudex

    Caudex Guest

    I'm the same way--I'm beginning to think I might be gay but pretty far down the asexuality spectrum. You might want to consider that.

    Also--15 and in a relationship? Damn, son.
     
  3. June Cleaver

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2013
    Messages:
    1,267
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    United States of America
    I have never been the type who responds sexaully to something visual. I don't see a nude man or porn and get all hot and bothered. I feel my spirit is female and I have a male body. I have never been attracted to another female. That being said, a man can get me sexaully turned on to the point of insanity, but this is how it works for me. He has to in any combination;

    1st Talk a good game (Romance),

    2nd Touch me (hold me, caress me, kiss me),

    3rd and final thing that gets me HOT is his natural scent (Not all men, just the ones I am attracted to, it is part of the attraction for me).

    I am very attracted and bonded to Mike my husband. Today I was doing his laundry from a work trip and when I was putting the cloths in the washer from the laundry bag, I caught his smell and had he been home it would have been fun... No cloths came any closer than two feet from my face. The hot and bothered feeling was strong for hours like a swich went off in my head. I wish I could just will these things to happen.

    In my case I had forced myself to be sexual with my first BF thousands of times to make him happy durring the 8 years we were a couple. It was no hardship to have sexual contact with him, but I did not see what the big deal was till I met my second at 20yo. My second, John was romantic and knew how to drive me wild for sex. I mean fireworks went off the first time. He was like 7 years older than me and knew how to treat me. He was how I really discovered myself sexually.

    So maybe you will discover what flips your swich, or you could be asexual. Don't get in any hurry thinking something is wrong. We each are individuals on this Earth. June
     
  4. reov3596

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2012
    Messages:
    19
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Dallas, Texas
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I know what you mean. I know I'm young, and I have done some crazy things. I've experienced what you're talking about with how a certain guy can just make you crazy for it. I was with an...experienced man, and I'm not sure if it was that, or that I was bottoming, or that I was high, or a combination of them. I'm not sure if my boyfriend is a bottom simply because of his size, or if that's simply how he feels. But he was a virgin when I met him, so it could be inexperience, but I'm just concerned that I'm not exactly a top and I'll never be able to be satisfied. I'm young yes, but this is a very important relationship to me, and I feel like if I could settle this issue within myself, that we could last forever. I don't want our incompatibility in bed eventually drive us apart as I love him for who he is, and I would never want to lose that. I'm just so conflicted, and generally worried.
     
  5. Ettina

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2012
    Messages:
    1,508
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Female
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    You could be somewhere on the asexual end of things.

    If you are, this doesn't have to ruin your relationship. I have heard of sexual/asexual relationships working, though I don't know much about it personally.
     
  6. June Cleaver

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2013
    Messages:
    1,267
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    United States of America
    I would think for a asexual relationship to work, you both would have to be asexual. I assume he wants sex and it is you who does not. Every man is diffrent when it comes to sex. For example this is how it has been with my relationships in the past. Oh I always leave it up to him how often.
    1st relationship 1984-92 started at a BJ once a day after school with occational intercorse and the last 2 years we lived togeather it went to whatever 3 to 4 times a day.
    2nd 92-94 he was a whatever once a night kind of guy with the occational quickie in the morning. He really rocked my world for the first time!
    3rd 94-96 he was a whatever 2 to 3 times a week kind of guy.
    4th 96-2011 he started as a once a day BJ with occational intercorse than it went to a BJ once every couple of months after many years. I will say he abused me badly so I was thankfull when he did not want it.
    5th 2012 to current (Mike) is a intercorse once a evening kind of guy and knows just how to get me HOT for it!
    So my experence has varied with my 5 men and when I say sex I mean how often each one expected to get off doing something sexual with me per day. Mike is the only one who wants intercorse every time. So me and #4 lived almost asexual from 2008 to 2011. I hope this gives you some Idea how in each relationship sex plays a diffrent role of inportance. June