I feel like the cuttings getting worse. I do it more often and deeper. Im afraid Im going to hurt myself.. the friends who know about the cutting say I need to go to a mental hospital. Im afraid they could be right. I feel like Im going crazy but at the same time I feel empty, alone, and nothing at the same time. Im scared that I wont stop cutting. Sometimes I feel that cutting makes me happy, like I like hurting myself.. My mom said that if she found out I cut again she would send me to a mental hospital. Im scared my mother will find out. I feel that no matter what.. I'll never stop cutting. Is there something wrong with me? Why do I enjoy self harming? Please help....
People who self harm usually feel like its the only pain they can control. You may not necessarily be enjoying the cutting itself but they aspect of being in control of something in your life. Maybe your mother posed that as a threat hoping that she wont see her daughter hurt anymore, please remember that the closest people around you just want whats best for you and to see you healthy. They love you. Best of luck. -K
The people around you who have said that they want to send you to a mental hospital are really there to support you. They may not know how to help, and want to see you get better. Maybe you could try and find a therapist or counselor to talk to. Try and do some yoga, pilates or grounding. Meds may be helpful to help you cut less.
I do have a therapist and I do take medication, I just don't think I'm getting enough help. I want to stop cutting but I feel like I cant. And I'm worried the two friends that know will tell my mother. I feel like even with the help I'm getting I still wont be able to stop..
Sometimes it's best to just deal with the consequences and face others head on. It's best to have too much help than too little since addictions can easily overwhelm you when you aren't at your best. It's good that your friends care about yourself and your health; don't feel that it's a bad thing. I've had friends who've gone though rehab, I've gone though hell, life's difficult but looking back it's better to have gotten the help that you really need than to have left it fester or have something catastrophic happen. I can't what I would have given to go back and get things under control, but what's done is done. "Mental wards" seem imitating too however often they don't hold people in those scary padded cells unless they become seriously violent; it happens and it's just a good idea to let some people burn out. Most of the rooms at my local place are just monitored rooms, bed, tv, and that's it; no one's going to say that you are a bad person for getting help for an addiction (If they do, then they don't matter, don't worry about them), and that's really what this is. Things do get better, as cliche as it seems; It'll be difficult but worth it. Hope you get the help you need, I know it's hard getting over stuff.
