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Erectile Dysfunction @ a young age

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by lalitte, Apr 3, 2013.

  1. lalitte

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    I guess I should have put young(ish)

    I am 26 years old and I believe I am struggling with erectile dysfunction.

    Until I was with men, which has happened in the past few years I don't think I ever knew what a real erection was. The type that get hard... and you know stay hard. So basically when I was having sex with women when I was younger I noticed that my penis would nearly be entirely soft by the time I actually ejaculate and would take rigourous movement to make me cum.

    That unfortunately is less easy to do with anal.

    To clarify -- I don't get many spontaneous erections. I do not really get morning erections anymore and if I do they disappear quick. When I am turned on and with someone I get close to fully hard for maybe 2-5 mins after than its a struggle to keep it up. Condoms -- forget it, instalimp. When i cum my penis is generally almost completely soft. If I stand with my erection, it points downward and quickly loses strength -- almost feels like gravity is too much for it.

    I need help... here is the problem

    I CAN'T FIND ANY.

    I am from the east coast of Canada and recently (3 or 4 years ago) moved to TORONTO, ONTARIO. I have not been able to get a family physician here. I tried speaking to the men's Hassle Free Clinic but they don't assist with ED. They gave me a number to call who said they could not assist and I would have to call Canadian Mens Health Clinic or simply sign up on a waiting list to get a doctor SOMEWHERE within Toronto.

    Problem is -- Canadian Mens Health Clinic you have to pay for and I dont wanna wait forever.

    Does anyone on here, possibly from Toronto, know what I can do. This is a huge problem for me, I have reverted to only bottoming because I cannot successfully top and I miss it and want to be able to do it. I have read so many articles online and I just dont know what to do??:frowning2:

    Help? Anyone?

    If you need more information just reply and I'll give ya whatever I can

    THANKS!!!!
     
  2. Dublin Boy

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    Diabetes, some medications, too much smoking or excessive coffee or alcohol intake may contribute to erectile problems, to me it sounds like a circulation problem, hope you manage to get it sorted!
     
  3. lalitte

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    Just to clarify....

    I am not diabetic that I know of, no medications not even tylenol, don't smoke or drink coffee and only drink at best once a week or once every two weeks.

    Oddly enough with the circulation I find I can go numb easily... IE like my legs can sometimes fall asleep easily
     
  4. Chip

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    I'll message our staff social worker, who used to live in Toronto and is pretty familiar with the medical and social services there, to see if he has any resources for you.

    My immediate thought, though, is this is something you should be talking to your general practitioner about rather than just about ED, because it sounds like there might be an underlying medical problem.
     
  5. KaraBulut

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    The problem is that you've gone in with a diagnosis and expecting treatment for that diagnosis. Where you need to start is in describing your condition to a general practitioner and let them determine what is causing the problem.

    Erectile dysfunction is a diagnosis based upon a consistent inability to stay hard- when you're masturbating, when you're with other people and with spontaneous erections. The things that you have described aren't specific enough to rule out other causes for erectile problems. To rule those out, you would need to see a physician, have a physical and some lab tests done to rule out a physical cause. Once physical causes are ruled out, then what is left is often psychological causes- which are the most common cause of erection problems in men.

    There are some physicians who will prescribe Viagra and other meds for guys who have a psychological cause for their erection problems. Very often, the fear of losing an erection is the cause of the loss of erection, so the meds help overcome that psychological cause. But that is something that your doctor would have to discuss with you.
     
  6. lalitte

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    Thanks for all the info everyone.

    The problem is, and I thought I had mentioned it but I rambled and forgot I believe is I haven't been able to find a family doctor here. Since I've moved I always have had to go to walk-in clinics and emerg when I am sick... I don't think I can go to either for this as they are generally for emergency's which this is not... well to them anyway.

    I went to the Hassle Free Clinic and asked for assistance there while I was getting my routine STI checkup -- they told me they don't deal with or refer based on ED issues and gave me a number to call. I called the number, there was nothing they said they could do and referred me to a paid service which I know is going to just prescribe me viagra and try to get money from me regardless or to get a general practitioner which was what I was trying to get in the first place.

    I believe a big portion of my problem is psychological cause when I do get hard I pretty much wait for it to go flacid within minutes. But I know I never got erections like the guys I have met since coming out. I have never been able to just stand there and have a spring board erection, mine even at best in my teens were flimsy and bendable.

    Also, the only thing I have come across and seems to fit my situation is weight. I am quite heavy, and I wear alot of my weight on my upper body. When I just did my BMI it gave me a body fat percentage of 27% and its probably been up around this area for a while now. Could this have an effect? I am starting to try and get into shape so maybe that will help? It seems like the guys I am with who have these rock hard erections are definitely in good shape...

    Also just a side note... I know I am probably going to get a big flat no here.... but is there anything natural or like exercises or some vitamins or something that helps like I don't know blood flow or circulation or something... something that I might try to see if it works... or maybe even something that may give me a placebo to help get beyond the psychological part. I prefer to live a pretty prescribed medicine free life if possible but if there were something I could do that is natural that may even help a bit it would be greatly appreciated.

    I am hoping it won't come down to me taking pills for the remainder of my life to have sex :frowning2:(
     
  7. KaraBulut

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    Let's see if Chip is able to find some resources on how to get setup with a primary care provider in the OHIP. If you've been to ServiceOntario and filled out the application, I think there's a 3 month waiting period before you are included in OHIP.

    Once you're covered by OHIP, make an appointment for a physical. Instead of saying, "I have ED", just go in and say, "I'm having some physical troubles- with my weight and with staying hard during sex". That will tell the doctor what they need to know to determine what tests to run.

    When patients show up saying, "I have ED", they assume that you're just there to get ED drugs. And you're less likely to get them.
     
  8. Mrcake

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    These are not your problem, although they could be contributing. Definitely go to a doctor and get your blood testosterone level tested. I have had these same problems and am on medication now. Low T is common, more than people think. Also, this may sound scary, but you could have a pituitary problem. Get blood tests to find your T level. :eusa_doh:
     
  9. lalitte

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    Hey All,

    I'm back, unfortunately, but I have taken some of the advise listed above and previously to me I am just not sure how to proceed now.

    I disappeared back in April, I signed up with something called health care connect which helps people in Toronto connect with physicians if they are unable to find one. It's a good resource! I received a call about a family physician in May and got in to see him in June.

    Basic I did as Kara outlined above. I stated I wanted to get a physical done, since I had never really had a full work up, and nothing at all in recent years. I also mentioned my physical issues relating to my weak/non existant erections. We discussed this further he got some background and sent me off for some tests. He assured me he didn't think it was anything physical given my background I had given him (also ruled out weight as an issue as I am apparently not that overweight and wouldn't cause such a drastic issue).

    I followed up with getting the tests done immediately that day at a lab near by. They did a test on my heart as well as my blood and urine. He tested I think for a plethora of things he thought it may be. I had to wait a couple weeks for the tests to get back in and if he didn't call me then I could call him to discuss the results / current situation. He didn't call so I followed up

    I know it sounds silly but I was hoping it was something basic and physical that could be corrected. It wasn't. Everything came back normal he said, nothing out of line at all. Not physical.

    My problem starts here. Although he was quite nice the first time and with doing the basic physical I think it stopped there. He was nice today, but quite dismissive as this being a non issue. At this point I can't even maintain an erection through masturbation and no longer have any spontaneous erections, not even upon waking up.

    I was told to "relax" and "not worry about it" for the next 4 to 6 weeks and then if the problem is still there I "can" come back if I want. This to me seems like a very passive way to deal with someones issues. I get that I am not dying but to me this is a huge thing, it was huge for me to have to go in and sit down and talk about this. As a young man, this aside from something terminal or really bad is second to being very hard to deal with.

    The problem is now I feel worse then ever. Since this last appointment I have felt my mental health decline. This issue is destroying my self confidence, my social/dating interactions and now it feels like my mental health. I am having thoughts I haven't had in a long time which is a bit scary. It's causing me to get quite reckless.

    I know to most people this isn't a big issue, but when your 26 and haven't been able to have successful sexual intercourse in almost 7 years it gets kind of depressing. I feel worthless and useless. I can't date cause no one understands, I tried to explain it one guy and he essentially marked me off as being a bottom, who was pretending he liked to top. It's not that at all. In fact to me, bottoming doesn't even feel the same to me.

    Anyway I don't know what to do. I asked the doctor what my next step should be, should i exercise? Be referred? Take viagra to try and build confidence? He gave no suggestions, just to "relax". At this point I don't even have desire to masturbate. I feel this is really going to destroy a possibility of a healthy sexual relationship for me.

    Also I've tried talking to a couple friends about it because of how depressed I am and they pretty much say the same thing. Need to get over it. I would if I could, I dont think anyone realizes I have exhausted the trying to relax and get over it for the past 7 years. I didn't wanna have to come back and rehash this as its not the first time for me but I am at a loss again and my mental health now is getting worse. What should I do? Is it possible I should just accept I won't be having sex ever and move on? Should I go to other methods?

    I did find if I smoke alot of weed it will work. I hadn't smoked in years but started again recently because of how bad I was feeling. I found when I am really, really high it makes my heart pump a little harder or something and makes me feel a bit numb but actually gives me a hard on. Should I pursue this as a method of getting it to work?
     
  10. Hefiel

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    Out of curiosity, how often do you masturbate? Do you masturbate to porn and how often compared to masturbating without porn?

    And no, don't start smoking weed just to get a hard on. Not worth it.
     
  11. lalitte

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    Well I had been masturbating, once a day to porn prob. Some days less and some days more
     
  12. Dublin Boy

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    Still sounds like a Circulation problem to me, do you suffer from varicose veins at all, or dizzy spells, did the Doctor check for hardening of the arteries at all?
     
  13. Hefiel

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    This is purely an assumption here because well, I'm no professional, but overuse of porn can lead to erectile dysfunction. yourbrainonporn.com

    If anything, until you see your doctor again, it might be a good idea to stop porn completely, and while you're at it, perhaps not try to masturbate for some period of time (7 days for a start). Your level of testosterone peaks after 7 days without release, and higher testosterone will mean that you will have more energy and you'll probably be more horny as well. Try masturbating then, without porn, using just your imagination and see where it goes.
     
  14. sguyc

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    Try some therapy! It will help alleviate the mental stress and help you "relax".