Hi everyone i just want to ask you if this is normal or you feel this way. I just turned 22 and i feel like im growing up too fast, i just graduated college a year ago and start working.I've been working since i was 18 from coffee shops to a big company like i do now. I have a working schedule like an adult now from 8 to 5. I wake up every day at 6 and i get home to 6:30. I live with my partner in a small apartment and i am responsible for paying the bills, the rent and providing food. I'm not against responsibilities in life, not at all because i came to this point after a long struggle with family and negativity in my life back when i was in my hometown. But i live far away with my boyfriend and i know that somehow people has to grow. and i enjoy having the freedom of a new life. The thing is is that sometimes i feel really tired, like constantly want to sleep. I'd really like to sleep a little more but i also need to spend time with my boyfriend and for some other things. A couple of months ago my boyfriend asked me to exercise because the body has always been very important for him. For me too. I'm also worried about how i look but i think there are other things in life. I'm an average person not fat and not too skinny but of course i'd love to look like a runway model. who doesn't? My boyfriend want's me to start going to the gym because he always sees this other guys and calls me lazy because "i don't want to be like them". I mean i do! but sometimes i feel like i don't have the energy and i don't know if this is normal and what can i do in order to have the energy to keep up with work and house duties also for keeping my boyfriend happy and sometimes all this gets me frustrated. What can i do ? :/
I am 22, I am doing a Phd, I own a car, I am a qualified pilot, I am paid a decent salary, I am fully independent of my family. I pay rent and I will soon be my boyfriend's partner and I am professional when it is required. That aside, I am just a big kid at heart, I obsess of bands like Paramore, I go to gigs all the time, I dress the way I want to and I still find time to be young and free! Its just once you are out of work, or the weekends its nice to let yourself be yourself and be free. Its one of the reason's why my boyfriend fell in love with me, he thinks I am such a "free spirit". 22 is still really really young. Alot of my school friends are not doing what I do
Are you getting enough sleep consistently? If that's not the issue, your low energy levels could be caused by something else. Are you eating a well-balanced diet? Are you under stress at work? If you can't pin it down on something in particular, could it be a time management or organizational issue? Focusing on improving yourself in that department could help you manage all of your responsibilities without feeling exhausted by them. Also, to be totally honest, your boyfriend sounds like he's concerned about the wrong things. It'd be one thing if he were worried about your overall health and encouraging you to do things that make you feel better, but calling you lazy and trying to guilt you into going to the gym is pretty far from loving or supportive. If he were worried about your well-being, he'd be trying to help you feel less tired all the time, and he'd only be encouraging you to go to the gym as a way to make yourself feel better (exercise does release endorphins, after all). But it sounds like he's just concerned about the fact that you don't look like those hotties at the gym. And to be honest, that's really shallow. You might want to sit him down and tell him that you're feeling really tired all the time, and there's no use going to the gym if you don't have the energy for it, and that figuring out what's making you so tired and getting that energy back is more important than looking like a model, and that if he really loves you, he'll help you do that, rather than just pressuring you to go to the gym because he wants you to look hot. Because you're right, there are more important things in life than worrying about how you look, like your overall well-being, and if he really cares about your, he'll want to help you with those more important things first.
Actually, sometimes going to the gym, even when you don't feel like it, can boost you energylevel and help you eat better and sleep better. But you need to look into where the tiredness comes from and address that too. Problems can also really weigh down. But I can relate. At the moment I'm a mess because my boyfriend is in hospital since feb 22d and I was scared to lose him for a long time. I go there every day and it's a two hours drive, so that is 5 hours a day for just being there for an hour and I have a job (thank goodness that is flexible, sometimes little to do and boss-my neighbour- sends me home) I don't sleep at the usual times and not enough and I catch myself eating more and more sweets and cookies for comfort. I know it is wrong, I know it has to change, but I can't help it. I wish one could have like having a totall break from life for a while to charge up...
Thanks guys for your advice. I tried to go to the gym before i came to this town but sometimes i can't even get out of bed because my working hours ended arround 3 or 4 am . So getting up at that time was exausting. Although i kept doing it because of my boyfriend. I really understand that you gotta see what's best for your body. And i know i should get enough sleep but i think that things happened to fast and i gotta get used to them. And also maybe i'm feeling the preassure because of my boyfriend, what gets me tired the most is that he is not realizing that im on other things like work and i want to do other things. I guess he wishes i was like a robot that exercises and go to work without even blinking.
It might be he has no idea what he does to you, especially if you never said anything about it towards him. Maybe it's an idea to make some kind of day/weekplanner together just to make him see how much other things you do and how you can or can not do all he wants. If you still feel pressure afterwards because he is not willing to change his attitude, you might have to chose to split up or seeing eachother less often. I work and my boyfriend didn't (took a year off for therapy and such, long story) and we had to work out how we could do all we wanted to do together and at first he didn't get it I wanted to go to sleep early and why I fall asleep after sex and why I was moody in the morning. I really had to tell him that I didn't have the same amount of energy and that I used a lot of it for my work...
Yes i think you are right, well we live together and he spents all of his time at home. He doesn't work and i believe that's why he maybe does not think that i might get tired sometimes. I do not mean to be a couch potato and i love if my boyfriend wanted to do things with me but sometimes even hug him becomes a requesting matter and we are experiencing some money trouble because i bought a living room and hired services like cable tv for our house. Also we have to buy food , i know that you dont need money to have a great time because we had some. but sometimes i'd like to take him to a restaurant or to have an ice cream wich he says: we dont have the money we can't afford that. But when it comes to the gym, yes we can. So i think he needs to find something else to keep his mind bussy and to realize there are important things we can spend the money on. and we still be able to have a good time. But sometimes i think he want's it all, and sometimes i can't cope with everything. :tears:
Just tell him! But, doesn't he have any money? I mean, my boyfriend didn't work, but he is filthy rich and money isn't an issue anyway since we live with my parents. I feel like your guy should chip in or move out to improve the situation. Is he at least doing things like cleaning and washing and other daily routines in the house? My boyfriend started to that in the house, since my parents both work, and he practised capoeira. He was thinking about returning to school. I feel sorry for you. You have to talk to him to get things changed. You can't go on like this.(*hug*)
Just to let you know, you're not alone. I'm 22 and have always felt incredibly older for my age. Just like you, I work a lot and go to school full time at the moment but almost graduating. I'll be attending grad school in the fall. I feel like it's more than that- I just have been through hell and back in my life and sometimes that will age people. Not to worry- although I do think the way your boyfriend treats you is nuts. He should love you no matter what and the physical body should be of no concern to him. I hope you don't take this offensively, but I think you may be with someone who is tearing you down, not raising you up. My girlfriend is my soulmate and would never ever say stuff like that to me- if anything, she discourages excersizing, saying my body is perfect the way it is. Be careful, ok?
He's not working, you're paying all the bills and doing housekeeping and he calls YOU lazy? Wow. I'm sorry but it sounds like he's being a self absorbed jerk.
