So me and my boyfriend love each other very much but I live in Canada and him in the States so we don't see each other much. Anyway so on his first visit he tried topping me, not fitting much in but it was ok, his penis is rather large and he only fit like half(or less) of it in. Now he recently came for another visit and when he tried to do me again it hurt allot, we took it very slow but he could just not fit it. Is it possible that some of us are made where our insides can't fit as much or am I just stressed out and need to like try something, I really want him to be able to fit inside me it means allot to me and it's depressing knowing I can't give him pleasure like he gives me. Sorry if this is in the wrong section but our relationship is less than a year old and so is me realizing I'm bi.
Do you guys use condoms and lube? Does he loosen you up a bit? Are you relaxed? All those things can help. The position matters too!
No condoms, lots of lube and tried me on my stomac and my butt in the air. As for relaxing idk I try were still noobs at this when I do him I can from pretty much any position and fit mine in although according to wikipedia mine size is slightly below average and his is bigger than average.
Yes, some are not meant to have anal sex, you might be just that guy. You likely need to pleasure your man by doing him, and see how well he takes it.
Condoms is part of the answer to your question. Besides all of the risk prevention it offers, it also makes intercourse run more smoothly.
Are you all starting out with fingers and working your way up to penile penetration? I know you aren't expecting a girl to answer this, but I have actually topped guys that were new to anal play. Start with a glass of wine, soft music, soft lighting... just the most relaxed, calming atmosphere you can create. Use tons of lube and start one finger at a time while pleasuring your lover in other ways. The trick is to make sure their relaxed and enjoying themselves while you introduce this new sensation. If it hurts, don't pull out. Just stop where you are and keep pleasuring them and wait till they relax before you start moving again. No rushing! It may take half a dozen times (or more) before you can get to where you want to be.
To add to this excellent advice, I'd suggest starting out with you both on your sides with him behind you so that neither of you are fighting gravity and can better control the penetration. As a possible second option, you could have him lay on his back and then you lower yourself onto him. But on your sides is probably a better start IMHO. Another option could be to look into some of the toys that are out there, including many readily available from Amazon (read the customer reviews! And mid-range prices are probably fine. And get something with a flange or taper on the end to keep it from...going too far). These could get you used to being penetrated and to start associating pleasure with the experience of being penetrated, let you practice for him even when he's not around, and gradually work up from something smaller to something more in line with your boyfriends size (this will cost a bit, but it's a thought). It could also let you 'stay limber' when he's not around since (in my experience) the muscles that you're using (or relaxing) during anal can get out of practice if you don't use them for a while. Just some thoughts, Todd
Thank you very much Femmeme and AKTodd I've been searching for solid answers about it for a while and I feel that your answers are the most likely solution, I need to slow down and ease into it. Also training myself should help. Thank you very much I will look into a toy and hopefully get my body used to it for the next time he can come over It's strange that there doesn't seem to be anything I can find indicating whether or not physical limitations are possible like in the sense of how far one can be penetrated. Looking at any anatomy chart it seems like there is plenty of room in there why dose it hit a "wall" for me? I'll try your suggestions for sure without going so far as to causing damage to myself. I definitely think I'm wound up too tight, I remember going for massage therapy when I was younger, my aunt brought me and she had it done and said it felt very relaxing, yet on my turn it hurt allot, the guy said I was extremely tense, after a while he broke me in a bit and I was able to sleep better at night but I think I still have over average tenseness.
If you're that tense it could be an issue. I used to be so tense in HS that I had to consciously relax the muscles in my lower back and it would hurt so bad I was practically groaning in pain until they let go. Also, are you sure the issue is a matter of length or thickness? Unless your boyfriend is able to give a donkey competition, I would normally think the issue was one of his being too thick for you (especially if you ran into pain as soon as he tried to enter you on the second visit), rather than too long? Or maybe I just misunderstood you. Even then, assuming all else is healthy, you should be able to handle him if you take it slow and easy and with some practice. An advantage with toys btw is that you can use them alone when there is no pressure of having someone else in the room. You can take as much time as you need. Taking it slow is also key to a first time being penetrated (the first guy I bottomed with was quite large too). Pay no attention to porn that makes it out to be some driving athletic event thing. With lots of practice you may get to the point where you can (and want) to do that. But most people aren't really moving that fast and certainly not on a first (or first several) try. Hope this helps and good luck Todd
Is that "wall" you're talking about the inner sphincter? There's the anus which you can see, but a couple to a few inches in there's a sphincter that needs to be relaxed and slowly opened up to achieve full penetration. You aren't going to find a real measurement for what the rectum can accommodate, because it is stretchy and flexible, it's just a matter of relaxing and getting used to penetration. Good luck!
I'm glad to know that there probably isn't really a problem with me being "disfigured" on the inside I guess I should look up butt plugs? ummm any suggestions for any? <///<
Search for an anal dilator kit or set, maybe on amazon? It will have several butt plugs of different sizes so you can work your way up.
