Okay, I've seen people complaining from this a few times before on the forums however.. nobody seemed to be able to provide an answer. What I'm experiencing is basically this sharp, dull pain during anal sex/toy insertion at a particular depth inside - probably about 12 cm? Whenever this.. spot/point gets hit/pressed against, it hurts - almost like a nerve..? Don't think I can simply get accustomed to it and it's very difficult to go any further in because it simply hurts and there's this feeling of discomfort. It's not the external/internal anal sphincters - when relaxed properly the penis/toy goes in without problems. It's that particular something that gets hit! On some of the other threads people suggested it's the curving of the rectum? Any ideas? Help would be appreciated.. really eager to be on the receiving end however this is sort of a problem. Thanks in advance! :/
Yeah, you may have to adjust positions. I had this problem as well, but only in a particular position. And sometimes, I don't even have the pain, but when I do, it can definitely ruin the mood. It's probably the wall of your rectum being hit, and if so, I'm not too sure what can be done about it. I've also seen previous posts about this issue, and no one seems to be able to give a concrete solution...
I've never had anal sex (nor any type of sex for that matter) but my advice...if it hurts, then stop and maybe don't go so far in. Twelve inches seems like a lot of sex toy/penis to have in there. Most people don't have a penis that long anyway, so it shouldn't be a problem...I'm pretty sure anyway, I'm no expert in this area. It may be better to ask a doctor about this.
It was 12 cm, actually, but your sentiment is right. To the OP: This is likely because you're hitting the 'corner'. 'Down there', it's like an L-shaped pipe, and you're hitting the corner of the L, which is painful. Adjusting positions and going slower near this 'corner' should reduce pain. Keep it in mind and it should be less painful. So yeah, it is the curving of the rectum or something like that.
Keep in mind that it should not hurt, actually. My best bet? You're rectum has a mind of it's own. See, it's like a cat, you want it to do whatever you want at this very moment but just like a cat, it will take time for you to find the right thing to do so you get the right end result. Look at it this way, it's a great excuse to have more protected sex! Always use protection and lube!
Use more lube, and try inserting your toy in less far. Remember, the prostate is only a finger's length in. You should never be in pain when doing anal stimulation. Keep in mind that your toy may not be the right toy for you. I recommend just trying your finger a few times to see if you still encounter this sharp pain.
Thanks for the quick response, guys! Much appreciated. ^_^ Yep, will do some experimenting in terms of positions and will take it slowly to see if the pain is going to subside or be reduced at least. Suppose it's specific to every person. In response to the last comment - have tried fingers and nope, they don't produce that type of pain - it's a bit deeper than that! P.S. lube and appropriate relaxation etc. are always taken into account!
Yeah it does sound like it's probably the bend in the colon (the sigmoid colon) that you're hitting against - although 12cm sounds a little shallow for that, but everyone's different. How rigid is your toy? If it's a hard plastic or something similar then you might be better off getting something that's a bit softer and a bit bendable, like a silicone one. A real penis is also a bit soft and bendable so even if it does hit against it, it shouldn't hurt as much.
Position is probably going to make a big difference. There's some anatomical diagrams that show the rectum that are in another forum. These diagrams are made with the person standing, so there's a straight shot from the anus to the sigmoid colon. When you're on bottom in missionary position, the rectum is at a different angle. Doggy style also changes the angle of the rectum. If you play with your toy in missionary position, you may want to prop your hips up on a pillow to see if that helps. Or if you have the right type of toy, you can also try cowboy position and see if that makes a difference.
Yup, softer toys - got it! And.. it did actually hurt a bit during actual sex.. was the first time but still! Can't make out whether it was a pain of reduced severity or not but it was still there.. :/ (missionary) @KaraBulut I did manage to flick through your other posts with reference to the issue and had a look at the rectal anatomy - it did give me a relatively clear idea of what might be going on. I will attempt different positions etc. and see if it's going to make a difference. Thanks for all the info! ^^
Let me bring this topic to life once again... I've had sex multiple times and the pain does seem to be highly dependent on the position. Unfortunately sometimes it's simply a reason to ruin the whole mood which is very frustrating. Does anyone have any suggestions as to how exactly I would have to position myself so as to avoid my boyfriend hitting the curve of the rectum? I.e. anything in connection with the hips or the waist? Straightening my back or putting a pillow below my waist in missionary? Anything which would straighten the rectum instead of it being in its normal curved shape? Advice and suggestions would be genuinely appreciated! The idea and feel of bottoming are too tempting to give up on only because of that. Thanks in advance!
In my experience having your legs at a right angle to your hips, and your back arched inwards a bit works the best. e.g. be on your knees and your hands or elbows, and push your stomach towards whatever surface you are. You can alternate the arch up and down and see what works best. Since we can't use explicit images I will have to use this yoga chart . The one labelled 'cow' on the first row is what I'm talking about. Spoiler However you will want to have your knees reasonably far apart to open that whole area up for your partner (not close together as is shown here) and this will lower your butt closer to whatever surface you're on. Of course you can modify this same leg and back position for when you are on your back or side. Additionally you could try being on top in the squat position with your knees in close to your chest - it'll do the same thing to a greater degree as what I said above. The squat position when going for a crap is recommended for this reason, as it straightens out the colon and eases bowel movements. Basically what I'm trying to say in this post is: the smaller the angle between your legs and your stomach, the less pronounced the angle in your colon should be.
Thanks, Ridiculous! Much appreciated - not too sure if you mentioned it but didn't you use to have the same problem? Regardless, all that was extremely useful, I'll give it a go and see how it works! Fingers crossed it does! What I've noticed is that the pain disappears in doggy position completely which is good... If I didn't believe that doggy is super impersonal haha. I've now got a vague idea how I should proceed with missionary and when being on top. Any suggestions for when I'm lying on my stomach and he's on top? Gosh haha, this is all so embarrassing, a sincere thanks for being helpful and informative! Hope it's not too much of a hassle! :/
Don't be embarrassed! We've all got butts and they all work the same . I didn't mention it in this thread I don't think, but yeah I know what feeling you're talking about and variations of those positions work the best for me for overcoming it. When you're on your stomach and your partner is on top of you is usually the most difficult position because this will have the bend in your sigmoid colon remain as pronounced as it can be (I'm assuming you've got your legs out flat behind you). If you do want to do this position I'd suggest trying it after you've done one of the others that are easier - then your colon has already been nudged around a bit and you may find it resists less. On your stomach you can still pull your knees up and tuck them under you (see the 'child' pose in that yoga chart), but this position doesn't look very nice to me - it should work by the same principle though.
Aight I shall give that a try! You've been so helpful haha, the only person who is actually knowledgeable about the problem. I'll fill you in on any results after I've attempted your suggestions! Lots of love from the UK! P.S. Would it be too weird if I wanted to add you on Facebook? It's just that you seem super nice and awesome! :') You literally saved my sex life and therefore my life haha!
I don't use Facebook sorry! Hopefully my suggestions work out for you though. (And remember you can't share offsite contact details on here outside of private messages, and you need to apply for full membership for that)
Haha yeah, sorry about that, wasn't aware. Posted this here precisely because I was unable to private message. Thanks! I'll mention any updates here.
There's so many positions you can try. I recommend having your partner lay flat on his back and you, facing him, or facing towards his feet, sit on him and insert him. In this position also you control the speed and depth and can maneuver better. I think you just need to be prepared to take your time and experiment a lot (which isn't such a bad thing really
