I never had sex, but I masturbate on regular basis. The idea that worries me the most since I was a teenager is that the concept of "premature ejaculation". I'm still confused whether it is a type of abnormality (like illness) or just your state of mind in the sense that you can overcome them naturally. Is it safe to assume that you have premature ejaculation when having sex only from the fact that you're having hard time to stay longer when masturbating?
Masturbation and sex with another person are very different things. We get a lot of threads that in effect say, "I can come when I'm by myself but I can't come when I'm with another person". We also get threads that say, "I get too excited when I'm with another person and I come quickly even though I'm fine by myself". That's a good indicator that there's not a consistent pattern.
Premature ejaculation is generally defined as the act of ejaculating sooner than you and/or your partner would like in the course of having sex, up to and including before any sexual acts (or even intimate acts) have taken place. There may be some minimum time limit for how long you can go without ejaculating that is considered 'normal' and anything less is considered 'premature' but I don't know for sure. While there may be some version of it with a physiological basis (I don't know, but a bit of googling will likely turn something up if there is ) most discussions I've ever seen of it seem to treat it as a 'psychological' or 'conditioning' issue that can be dealt with/mitigated through a combination of practice, techniques, and possibly some psychological effort. Again, some online research can likely turn up specific methods. Regarding lasting longer during masturbation, the simplest method is just to stop or reduce applying stimulation (physical and/or mental) when you feel yourself getting close to orgasm. Use of a more slippery lube (or greater amounts of lube) or masturbating while wearing a condom can all reduce the sensation levels to various degrees and should let you last longer (and can provide a different sort of experience just on general principles). Or you could work on edging if you don't already. It can be lots of fun and also help you learn your own responses and how to control them so you already have practice at that when the time comes to play with another person. Hope this helps, Todd
