Hi everyone! So, I have plenty of strange mental health things going in. And generally, I'm fine with my brain feeding me odd images, or giving me an incorrect perception of things. But what's really, well, scary is the extreme phobias. I have a huge long list of things I'm afraid of, things I'm uncomfortable with, and things that send me into an immediate panic attack. I read somewhere that people are only supposed to have a handful of fears, but I seem to have several handfuls. I've self-diagnosed myself with a phobia disorder, since medical professionals absolutely adore self-diagnosis. One of the worst things though is spiders. Spiders terrify me. Seeing a picture of one sends a shiver down my spine. Seeing one in real life makes me scream(which is really embarrassing during school). Being in the same room as one causes me to run screaming from the room. Seeing one move makes me whimper just thinking about it. I'm actually really tense now just thinking about it. I have nightmares about spiders. Just earlier, I couldn't stop sobbing because I saw one in my bedroom. Basically, I'm a huge wimp. About five percent of my brain sits there saying "well this is irrational to be afraid of it.stop blubbering," while the rest of my brain yells "Holy crap! Holy shit crap! Ah! Spider! Ahhhhh!!!!!!" Clearly, I'm nearly capable of semi-rational thought. But that means nothing when I'm actually near a spider. So how does one go about dealing with this? How can I get to the point where it isn't a disaster if there's a small web in the corner of a room? How can I stop checking all walls and nooks and crannies for spiders as soon as I enter a room? And please don't say touch a spider. I would rather be awake for open heart surgery than get near one of those things. (That might be a very slight exaggeration. Very, very slight though.)
Well, many people are scared of spiders. I, personally, would be more afraid if you were afraid of pencils or toilet paper (I sure hope you aren't.....) I think the biggest thing to do is look at what you are afraid of. Use your mind - is there SOMETHING that you could TRY and work on? You can start small and work up. That's what happens in therapy - you gradually work towards being able to handle something. There's a lot of different methods to handling phobias. When I get really anxious and start worrying that I'll be driving somewhere and I'll just have some big problem, my therapist says "what's the percentage of that happening? What's the likelihood?" It gets me to think about it and realize....I'm being silly.
Well, I may not have a legitimate spxxer phobia (I dislike even looking at the word), but I am quite, quite scared of them. I used to just... run away from them, and get someone else to dispose of them (And flush them down the toilet [Oddly enough, this may not even kill them; don't ask me how I know *shudder*]). Now, though, I have progressed. While I absolutely loathe being near them, which is kinda 'racist', or something, of me, I am able to now get close to them. My way of coping is to get them trapped somewhere, like under a cup, or something, and then let someone else get rid of them. Once the thing is gone, the cup / bowl / trap I used has to be really, truly thoroughly cleaned, and the places that the thing has touched must be cleaned, too. It's far from ideal, and perhaps it may not be realistic as an option for you, personally, but... I thought I'd mention it. I don't know how, but I somehow managed to be able to come this far with my fear of spxxers, and perhaps it may be an option for you, too?
Oh god, spiders. I wouldn't say I'm scared of them, but we do NOT get along. *shudders*. From what I've read of phobia management, the only real way to fix it is gradual desensitization. It's best when you get help from a therapist, and will only work if you are absolutely determined to get over it. I wish you all the luck. Because really, spiders are not worth freaking out over.
