Getting rid of fetishes?

One of the stories in Courage to Heal described a method for changing fetishes (in her case, her fetish was caused by childhood sexual abuse). I can't remember exactly what it was, but I think it involved visualizing what she wanted her new fetish to be and pairing that with sexual stimulation.

 

If it's gotten to the point where it's giving you severe problems, you might consider talking to a professional. :/ Good luck to you, but I really don't know much about that.

 

I'm aware that the last post was made several months ago.

I'm also just going to tell you that I don't believe there is a way to get rid of fetishes. However, I do believe that there is a way to reduce their effect to a point where they are practically nonexistent or non-interfering.

I'm not saying that this works for long period, as this method has only worked for me since the beginning of April (so it's been around 3 months); actually, I started the process in mid-to-late February. In any case, I think it had more success because I had another form of a sexual outlet (namely that I discovered I was gay..) where the sexual drive could "attach" itself. Eh...I'm not a doctor nor a scientist.

I was at the point where I was like a normal horny teenager, except that my horniness stemmed from strange and unusual fetishes (at least for me). So one day, I just decided to stop it.

First I stopped all visual and written stimulation for 7 weeks. During that time, I could still masturbate, and I could do it to the thought of the fetish, but the goal was to do it just for the feeling to relieve that sexual urge. As soon as I completed, I immediately did something else so I could be distracted from the after effects of the ending pleasure.

Also during this time, when I was out and when a thought related to a fetish came into my mind, I would pinch myself. Yeah, it sounds weird, but it worked as a turn-off as I would focus on the pain and my general distaste for the fetish. You have to do this every time...the goal is not to get a full hard on. (!) In fact, the bigger goal is just not to get aroused at all.

At the same time, if I had a relatively normal sexual thought, I'd encourage it just by allowing myself to daydream in my mind. If I had another fetish thought, I'd try to replace it by a normal sexual thought as well.

I also employed a shocker pen. I hate those things, and so if I ever thought of a fetish related thought, I'd put my hand over the switch, and the fear of being surprisingly shocked turned me off and deleted the thought.

After almost two months (to April), I went from having fetish-related thoughts once or twice a day (which would arouse me) to having fetish-related thoughts once ever few days that wouldn't arouse me completely. After a couple more months, I got to the point where I had fetish-related thoughts once maybe a week, and even then, it was only the remnant of the sexual excitement I would feel that would occur in my head...I didn't actually get aroused. Now, I rarely ever get fetish-related thoughts. I can look at pictures I used to look at for sexual pleasure, and now they don't have any effect. I tried getting turned on by them, and while I could slightly, it was nowhere near as powerful as before (and well, other sexual fantasies are more exciting :dry, and I didn't get a full hard-on. I haven't gotten completely aroused by one of my fetishes since April (like, honestly...unless it was in my sleep in which case I don't remember).

I know some people say to embrace your sexuality and all that, but at least sexualities like gay/straight/bi/pan involve loving other people. I do accept the fact that I still have these fetishes and will always have these fetishes, but there are things I can do and that I did that allowed me to reduce their effect to a mere fraction of what it was before, while simultaneously allowing me to enjoy more normal sexual fantasies (normal I consider to be gay/straight/bi/pan, etc...), unlike drugs which just kill your sex drive.

It's difficult and requires long-term discipline to not revert back, but I am more than satisfied with the results.

 

I used to have a lot of weird fetishes, and I thought that there was nothing remotely 'normal' about myself. I think in the end, it was a way to sublimate and hide large portions of my own mind from the rest of me. Making everything sexual merely a fetish, I could disconnect from any deeper sense of identity.

As I've grown more comfortable within my own mind, I've started to have more normal thoughts in this regard. There's this feedback loop that can form when something sex-related is also a source of personal shame, because sometimes the whole forbidden aspect of it just makes it more alluring, and so on.