Just a little back story, I was babysitting(I hate to use that word since he's 13 xD) my nephew a couple days ago and he was looking at one my old year books from middle school. He was going through all my classmates and asking me about them, when he got to this boy, lets just call him B. When I saw his picture it triggered this memory from when I was young. This is pretty normal for me since I have a hard time remembering things and it usually takes a memory trigger for me to remember it. Anyway, this is what I remembered: I don't want to say how young I was because I don't know if it would be against the rules of the forum, so lets just say it was before puberty. B and I were friends in a group of friends, so we usually hanged out with other kids and were never alone. One day during school, B took me to the side and literally asked if he could see my penis, yeah just pretty much randomly. I can't really remember my initial reaction, but I must of said yes because we went into the bathroom, I showed him mine, he showed me his, and we left. Now if it ended there, It would of been normal, but it didn't and it got sort of weird. We continued to do this, we would just go to the bathroom and just "look" at each other. I remember since we were in different classes, we set up a schedule to go the bathroom and do this, we had it planned pretty well. We also talked about penises and if we have seen any of classmates'. We then started messing around, nothing serious, I think all we did was touch each other. It wasn't like we jerked each other off either, we just touched each other; it never got any further than that though. This all happen during the "bathroom meetups", just to make that clear. I can't really remember how long this went on, but I remember we stopped because school ended and I didn't see him much during the summer. When school started back up, I asked him about it and he said that he didn't want to do it anymore, I actually remember being sort of sad about it. We never did talk about it again and we sort drifted apart, I hardly talk to him now since we graduated. He went on to date girls in high school and as far as I know, he's straight. So was this my first sexual experience or what do you even call it? At that age, I didn't really know what sex was and I didn't know what being gay meant. I really had no ideal what I was doing, but I sort of unconsciously did it and it didn't feel wrong. Remembering this was sort of an eye opener for me since I didn't start questioning my sexual orientation until a few years later and I didn't think I really "act gay" when I was a child, but this certainly threw up a flag. I also thought I hadn't done anything with anyone before, but now I don't know... Sorry for the essay and thanks in advance for the responses!
Hi Absol, this is quite normal & is called experimenting, alot of Guys do this, even two Straight Guys, I was with a friend when I was 12 & we did a little mutual masturbation, he is still a Straight Guy
So it's not technically a sexual experience? I guess I feel kind of weird for doing that at that age. Here I'll just go ahead and say how old I was: I think I was either 9 or 10.
Children are curious. They are curious about whether they are normal and they are curious about other people's body. In most cases, this doesn't have much bearing on their eventual sexual orientation- children show curiosity toward male and female bodies regardless of whether they eventually end up gay or straight. As long as the experience was consensual and no one was forced to do anything that they did not want to do, it is considered normal. And as you discovered, it doesn't necessarily have any predictive factor on whether the person grows up to be gay or straight.
Ok, so it really didn't really mean anything? I'm sort of happy and sad about that. Thanks for both of your responses!
I've worked with a lot of abuse survivors, and the factor that always makes the difference as to whether an experience is abusive is power and control. It doesn't sound like you were coerced, or even like you found it unpleasant or didn't want to do it. A similar experience with a much older person, or a person of the same age who cajoled and convinced you, and after which you felt dirty or guilty would be more likely to be abusive and have longer-term effects. So if it was consensual, and there was no power differential involved, then, just as KB said, it's a normal and common part of childhood, particularly when it happens before puberty.
Oh no I've never thought it was abuse, I was just confused that this happen at such a young age and I didn't know what to think of it. I never did feel threaten nor did it feel wrong.
You are actually not alone in this one. When I was in primary school when I was about 8 or 9, when boys would go the urinal at that age they would normally show their ass if you know what I mean and this boy called kyle slapped mine and one thing led to another and it just led to experimenting at that age but I didn't even reach puberty, we didn't know how to ejaculate or what it even was and we didn't get hard ons. Turns out a few years later after coming across these youtube videos which just popped up of guys getting intimate is when I started getting a feeling I was gay but to this day kyle is straight and I left his school when I was 10 but we stopped the bathroom meet ups 3 months in about.
