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Top, bottom, versatile

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by NewView78, May 13, 2013.

  1. NewView78

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    So this is my first rodeo so to speak. I'm 35 and in my first gay relationship of my life. I've been dating my BF for 5 months, and this just came up which has left me a little puzzled.

    Over the past five months we've only had anal sex on a handful of occasions. He doesn't seem to be that into anal. When we have done it, he has always been the bottom. I'm new to all of this, so I thought, maybe he wanted to be the top and was just a little shy or didn't want to shock me.

    Being curious as to what it feels like, and wanting to make sure he was getting everything he needed, I asked if he wanted to switch. He was a little taken aback when I brought this up, and then said maybe down the road, but that he had never done that before.

    Is this unusual?
     
  2. Hefiel

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    Unusual in what way? There are gays who prefer to be strictly bottom, some strictly top. Nothing unusual.

    Maybe you should share your thoughts with your partner though, hear directly from him about what he likes or dislikes in regards to sex in general.
     
  3. Lexington

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    Gay sex - and in fact, straight sex - is a buffet. Everything's available, but not everything has to be tried. Some people want to try everything. Some like a few things. And some people pick one thing and stick with it for the rest of their lives.

    It's not at all unusual for any given gay man to be a top, a bottom, versatile, or "not into anal and not interested in trying". :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
  4. nydtc

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    Sex is a buffet - I love that!!! Sample everything, you might like it! And if you didn't like - you didn't waste $29 bucks on it!!!

    I was told that in order to be a good top - you had to trying bottom- I thought it was crazy. I don't believe that it was.

    That being said if he has never topped - he might be intimidated. Talk about outside of the bedroom while your both still dressed.
     
  5. KaraBulut

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    Depends on what "this" is.

    It is unusual for two gay men not to have anal? Not necessarily. As you said, some guys just don't seem to be into it.


    This might be unusual but not for the reason that you might believe.

    Two guys who are seeing each other naked and in all sorts of compromising positions should be able to have a discussion about sex. For some reason, it seems to be easier to have sex than it is to talk about having sex.

    Generally, when you're in the middle of things, it's not the time to criticize or let on that you're not happy. But when you're cuddling on the couch or talking out of bed, you can bring it up by saying, "I have this fantasy..." or "I really want to try something with you". And then when you're in bed and you're trying something new, speak up and let him know that you're enjoying it. Everyone likes praise.