1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

queer identity, lesbian relationship, penis fetish?

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by queergrrlpower, May 13, 2013.

  1. queergrrlpower

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2013
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    St. Louis
    Gender:
    Female
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hey friends,

    I'm out as a queer femme woman, and I've been with my girlfriend (who is my first gf) for a year and a half. Prior to her, I'd had sex with a variety of women and trans*guys as well as cis gendered guys, with a few relationships here and there with men.

    That said, I'm also in the local kink community, not with any strong label or identification, but more with the attitude and feeling of being somewhat interested in a very wide variety of things, but with no strong fetishes, d/s identity, s/m identity, etc.

    SO:

    Often when I fantasize during masturbation and sex, I find that it is really difficult to not think about the mechanics of sex with a penis. It's not about the body it's attached to and yet it's not the same to focus on a dildo being used penetratively, or on my girlfriend's fingers. I found it erotic and a turn on when she onced referred to "her cock" and despite how much I am aroused by her vulva/genitalia and her entire body, I am also incredibly aroused by the idea of penetrative vaginal sex with a penis.

    So my question is then: do I have a penis fetish?

    I know that fantasies are normal and often encouraged, and that sharing them is not necessary (we all need private space, even in the most intimate of relationships) but I feel some guilt related to this, and I can't help but call to question certain things like, am I really queer, am I attracted enough to women, does that all matter, should I share these feelings with my girlfriend, etc.

    I've given this a lot of thought, and despite what I know about queer identity and kink identity, I'm still struggling a bit. Thanks for your insights!
     
  2. Dublin Boy

    Dublin Boy Guest

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2013
    Messages:
    1,738
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I suppose it's a bit like a Vegetarian, they don't eat meat, yet they eat meals that contain tofu or soya & the meals all try to look like meat, like vegetarian sausages or vegetarian mince, the same with Dildo's that lesbian use, they don't like Cocks, but the Dildo's are in the shape off a Cock & in some cases is a replica off a Cock, but by using one, they are still a Lesbian, if that makes any sense :slight_smile: