Afraid of sex

I've never heard any maximum per day limit of new threads. I wouldn't worry about a couple of new posts.

As for your big question, I wish I had a good answer. Unfortunately, I don't.

I will say you aren't totally alone. As a teenager, I was scared stiff of HIV/AIDS. Frankly, I was so scared that I don't think I'd ever have done anything sexual with another guy. (So you are already a huge step past where I was!) If I'd stayed with a friend (assuming I had any close enough), and he suggested masturbating at bedtime, and I was willing, I might have insisted on doing it as far apart as we could get...like opposite corners of the room.

I suppose I'm better now, although my sex life (except masturbation) is non-existent. But I have to admit that I'm very conscious of STDs. This is one reason, I think, why I tend to be against hookups with strangers. While anyone could potentially carry a STD, there is no telling how many people a stranger met online might have slept with. Plus, because there is no relationship past a quick fling, there is no strong reason for that person to be honest about anything, except the desire to have sex.

---------- Post added 27th May 2013 at 07:59 PM ----------

And incidentally, this does not sound immature... Some might say you're a little paranoid, but with all the diseases out there, caution is definitely important.

The people who are immature, in my mind, are the guys who have "bareback" sex with casual hookups. Or something like that. Being concerned about STDs is actaully being mature.

 

It doesn`t sound immature at all, being cautious is important, and it`s wise to play it safe.

However, if the caution makes it problematic for you to engage in sexual activities on an overall basis, I can see it becoming difficult to maintain a healthy relationship, as most people consider sex an important ingredient. Most, not all. A lot of people thrive without sex, I am just talking generally here. There are several things you can do to make sure that you are practicing safe sex. If you follow those guide-lines, then you should be able to have sex without obsessing about the possibilities of STDs. Knowing your partner`s sexual history, and that he/she has gotten tested several times between you and her/his previous partner is wise. If he/she hasn`t, and the relationship has progressed, asking him/her to get tested, so that you can feel more comfortable engaging further in sexual activities is not an unreasonable request. To be diplomatic about it, you can suggest the both of you get tested for mutual ease of mind Keep in mind that HIV tests are closest to safe after 9 months, so using a condom in the time until then is good for safety. Don`t take it from me, I am not an expert when it comes to safe sex and percentages, read up on it, ask your local physician or your doctor. Other members here can probably give you more exact information on it, but in any case, gaining knowledge on the subject can help ease your worries and feel more secure about it.

I would only consider it a problem if you start feeling that your worries about STDs are impairing your ability to progress in a relationship. If after tests you are still having difficulties engaging in sexual activities with a boy/-girlfriend or partner despite using a condom, then you might want to consider consulting a professional with advice/help. There are "girl-condoms" too and dental dams, which can be used during oral sex or just with fingering. They can help ease your mind, as they greatly reduce the chance of getting infected with an STD.

Just don`t use double condoms thinking it will make you twice as safe, because friction between the two layers can destroy it, hence making it unsafe. Random advice

 

I picture you as a laughing maniac.

 

You know, it's really difficult sometimes to figure out where the line is between "healthy concern" and "irrational fear".

In your description of what is going on, it's not clear whether you have a healthy concern about getting an STD- a concern that prompts you to use condoms, a concern that stops you from having sex when impaired by alcohol or excessive horniness, a concern that makes you say, "I don't know this person well enough to sleep with them"...

Or has it gotten to the point where it's no longer about a healthy concern? Are you at a point where you might miss out on an opportunity to date someone because you're so afraid of catching something?