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Histrionic Personiality Disorder.. I think I have it, what should I do?

Discussion in 'Physical & Sexual Health' started by Theagonist, Jun 15, 2013.

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  1. Theagonist

    Theagonist
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    I'm a 16 year old boy, and I'm usually shy around people, mainly ones I don't know. But, at times I do a lot of things for attention. Like, a lot of times I will blurt out vulgar stuff at inappropriate times, an example: I'm in show choir and we did performances at all of the near by junior highs, and we *tried* to recruit 8th graders into doing it next year, and like my choir director said to them "do you have any question" and I yelled out "when did you lose your virignity" it's worse because it was a catholic school, that seems pale I know, but still. And I do all of this diffrent things to get attention, to chewing on chairs, writing full-blown satanic symboyls on religion tests (I go to a catholic school but I;m an atheist), taking my clothes off in a bus, to inappriataly touching people, to the worse being: pretending I have schizophrenia, and cutting myself and righting some emoish sounding phrase on my torso and posting a picture of it on instagram. Also I've always wanted a mental disorder, to say I've have whatever mental disorder that is, like I want people to know I'm suffering and sad and depressed, which I am a lot, but like a tell EVERYONE my deepest problems, and really broadcast them out, which has gone to eating disorders, suicide theatres/attemtps, major self harm, and I want to stay depressed and miserable, and pretty much a failure in everything, mainly academics, since I'm taking the same math class 3 ******* years in a row, I dunno I just want to be the victim. And like I have a lot of emotional shifts, which change A LOT, like a get random bursts of depression for like two hours, then I'll be fine. And I get super excited and happy when I'm hanging out with people and they're paying attention to me, but when I'm alone (usually I am) I'm really depressed, and like I need to harp on other people to know how miserbale I am. And I read that being sugestable is part of HPD, which I fit like so well, like my politcial ideaoliges change like so much, like I started listening to this Pagan band called Omnia, and I want to be just like them, and they're hugely policatical, they say they're eco-anarchists, so I said that was, they worship pagan gods, so I'm trying that, 3/4 of them have dreads.. now I NEED THEM, they smoke pot (they're dutch), now I really want to, and I have done synthetic marijuana before. And on drugs, I have a prescribtion for vikidin cause I broke my hand two weeks ago, and I really want to take it (my parents wont let me) just so I can abuse it and get addicted to it. Back on politcal ****, I've gone in two to hardcore socailist, to eco-anarchist, to ayn rand like ideas, to libertarian, to anti-money zeitgeist movement stuff. something with my religious belifes, to gnostic to occultist to luciferian to panthiest to agnostic to atheist to heathen to pagan, and people think I'm really shallow and just having an opinion to have an opinion

    because of these problems I've ruined my life and many others, and I can't tell my parents.. cause they already hate me and are pretty abusive

    oh I forgot to tell about all of the sexting I've done with other guys,.. most of which I never met
     
    #1 Theagonist, Jun 15, 2013
  2. Theagonist

    Theagonist
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    And this has been going, say almost two years
     
    #2 Theagonist, Jun 15, 2013
  3. Bobbybobby99

    Bobbybobby99 Guest

    'Closes Gapping Mouth' Now that was enlightening. Now then, it most definetly sounds like you have a mental disorder. Don't know what it is, but you have a mental disorder. You SERIOUSLY HAVE A MENTAL DISORDER!
     
    #3 Bobbybobby99, Jun 15, 2013
  4. Theagonist

    Theagonist
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    That... was, helpful?
     
    #4 Theagonist, Jun 15, 2013
  5. Bobbybobby99

    Bobbybobby99 Guest

    Sorry, I don't know much about histrionic personality disorder, but you do most definetly have a mental disorder. No question about that. If you had asked if you were bipolar I would have better advice, as I am fairly certain I am one, but I have no idea on histrionic. Just wanted to say that it was near certain you have a disorder, if not the disorder.
     
    #5 Bobbybobby99, Jun 15, 2013
  6. Theagonist

    Theagonist
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    That's understandable
     
    #6 Theagonist, Jun 15, 2013
  7. BudderMC

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    1) We don't diagnose people on these forums, because none of us (barring KaraBulut and a couple others) are professionals. It would not be helpful of us to do so nor would it be responsible in a moral or legal sense (albeit well intentioned; I get that).

    2) Similarly, self-diagnosis is not accurate nor helpful for oneself. Often there are characteristics or traits you can't see in your own behaviour, not to mention you would obviously be laden with a whole bunch of biases in examining what you're doing. Again, not effective.

    Regardless or not if you actually have a disorder of some sort, if there is something going on in your life that is inhibiting what should be an average daily routine, it's time to speak to a professional about it (and in this case, perhaps a psychologist). If you can't find one on your own, perhaps you could go speak to your family doctor to get a referral.
     
    #7 BudderMC, Jun 15, 2013
  8. Ettina

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    I recommend you talk to a counselor.
     
    #8 Ettina, Jun 15, 2013
  9. TimTomC

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    I would saying seeing a psychologist would be necessary, you clearly need attention for reasons I don't know, but just know, we support you here, your problem is legitimate, and you're free to rant too us when ever you like, honestly. If you need to talk message me, I hope everything goes better for you. <3
     
    #9 TimTomC, Jun 15, 2013
  10. Chip

    Chip
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    As others have already said, it is not EC's place to diagnose anyone.

    However, that said, what you're describing, and the way you're describing it, doesn't really match histrionic persionality disorder, and there are a bunch of other attributes that go along with histrionic that you don't seem to have.

    Additionally, histrionic, and most other personality disorders can only be diagnosed in people over 18. In short... quit looking at the Internet and get somebody with some credentials and competence and specialty in childhood psychological disorders to do a proper workup to identify what your issue(s) are.

    What is clear is there is some serious attention-seeking going on (which is by no means limited to histrionic persionality disorder.) My guess is it's a much simpler reason, but you really need to be seeing a therapist and working the issues through in therapy. If you are able to convince your parents to pay for therapy, its likely you'd benefit strongly from seeing the therapist twice a week, at least for the first 3 or 4 months.

    And I would suggest ensuring that you see a psychologist (Ph.D or Psy.D.) rather than a masters-level counselor, and *definitely* not a psychiatrist (M.D.). What you have is likely a psychological issue with little or no basis in physiology, so medication (which is primarily what psychistrists do) is unlikely to be of much help.

    It's also important that you go into therapy with the intent of understanding that you are there to get better and resolve these issues. If you don't, it's going to be a huge waste of everyone's time.
    I would suggest you talk to your parents and/or school counselor and be honest about everything you've described in your original post, and make it clear that you would really like to see a therapist
     
    #10 Chip, Jun 15, 2013
  11. HuskyPup

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    I agree with the others about going to see a psychologist. I've found it to be of great help at various points, especially in terms of sorting out the causes of things, and how & why they developed, and getting to better know yourself, and to move on from there. No doubt this pattern developed over time, but new patterns can also be learned.

    When you say your parents are pretty abusive, how so? Physically, verbally, sexually, and to what degree? I don't mean to be nosy, but I do think we're products of our environments at least or more so than our genetics. Taking a look at how a family functions can be very important. It may be that your parents might benefit from therapy as well.

    In the meantime, try to be easy on yourself. Take a deep breath, and think about all the good things about you, as corny as that sounds. What currently seems like a sea of volatility might be transformed into many things: art, music becoming a professor, an inventor. I sense you have a great intensity and ammount of energy: The question is in finding ways to focus it...something I struggle with myself.
     
    #11 HuskyPup, Jun 16, 2013
  12. Theagonist

    Theagonist
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    It's mainly my mom, and mainly verbal,, a lot, occasionally it has been physical, an occasionally my dad too but not very often... I don't really like talking about it. But my mom just yells and calls me names all the time, since I don't when it started honestly, but for a long time. Long as I can remember. And she basically makes my life hell, and she treat sme like I'm young child, like she won't even let me stay home by myself, also she won't let me do anything with anybody.. not that I really want to anyways. But I text people a lot (most of which I never met) about my problems (mainly her), which would help a lot, but she destroyed my phone on some rampage, she also does whatever she can to keep me off the internet (with some good reason, because I have got in trouble because of it, many times) mainly facebook.. but that attmpet fails. She also often furtively reminds me about what an embarrsemnt and failure I am and how she hates to even be seen with me. But I don't care. And when she figured out I was gay she told me that she didn't want me anymore, whichreally hurt a lot, but know I don't care at all. There's probably more stuff, but I'm sure I'm impeding myself thinking about it, because I don't want to.
     
    #12 Theagonist, Jun 16, 2013
  13. Chip

    Chip
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    What you've described about your mom could, alone, account for your behavior and feelings.

    What you're experiencing is abusive. You need to meet with your guidance counselor at school and arrange for your counselor to call child protective services. Your home situation isn't healthy and requires intervention.
     
    #13 Chip, Jun 16, 2013
  14. Theagonist

    Theagonist
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    But that seems so dramatic.. and could probably only cause worse problems
     
    #14 Theagonist, Jun 16, 2013
  15. Theagonist

    Theagonist
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    well I do playguitar and tin whistle, and I write lyrics and music, and I dream of a music career, but it's extemely unpractical, and if it follows its pattern it will just fail, I actually have song on youtube, but it has more dislikes than likes, and the music I write comes out as gothic metal/Pagan folk, and no one wants to be a part of that, at least where I am
     
    #15 Theagonist, Jun 16, 2013
  16. Theagonist

    Theagonist
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    Also, I don't how related this is, but I have an extremely low self-esteem and stuff, and I Like get really, really, really depressed for like a few hours (If that), and it goes away, it's usually at night, so when I wake up the same thing that bothered before doesn't effect me at all
     
    #16 Theagonist, Jun 16, 2013
  17. TimTomC

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    Extreme or not, you need to do whats best for you, and if your mother is not, then you need to handle that, in a healthy safe way (Don't kill her or anything).

    I use to have low self esteem, but I would just tell myself not to care what people think in my head over and over again, and eventually it started to work, If I felt like someone was judging me, I would say I don't care what they think! How is getting stressed out about what they think helping me in life? and after awhile it really did work. Also put yourself in more social situations so you get more comfortable around people, and just remember you're worth it, whats not worth it, is feeling like crap for no reason. Btw, a lot of the things you think people think and say about you are all in your head.


    Get that self esteem up! Care less and live more, if you don't want to seek help with your mother, I recommend just ignoring her, when she gets mean like that, just tune her out, and make her words not matter, she can only hurt you if you let her with words, if she is physically hurting you, seek help.
     
    #17 TimTomC, Jun 16, 2013
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