I really don't think I could handle anal sex…

Don't worry. I'm sure the anus can be loosened enough for anal sex in less than ten minutes. Ideally it would be empty and clean down there, though... If you've had a bowel movement (cough) a few hours before, it should be decently empty.

 

For what it's worth, soap and a finger up there is fine for most guys. Many guys don't use special stuff to clean down there, anyways. And it shouldn't hurt, and should be done gradually, as well. =)

 

Yeah, don't listen to that blog post. They are obviously doing something wrong because none of what you mentioned should be an issue.

Also go and get orgasming because I don't think it would be a good idea to wait to have sex before you have your first. You will be far too nervous.

 

The anus isn't naturally constricted. It is wired to constrict when something is trying to move both in and out. Similar to how we don't, healthily, pass bowel movements in our sleep. It is ultimately the mind that decided when those muscles should loosen in the event that something is trying to move in or out. So there isn't a time frame. If you are a person who can keep themselves calm and relax their body's well, then you can relax the anus in a matter of seconds. It truly mind over matter.

As far as cleaning, you really don't have to go too far out of your way. You really don't have to plan out bowel movements and clean yourself right before engaging with your partner each time. The biggest thing is cleaning after you have each bowel moment. If you get in the habit of doing that, then you shouldn't have anything to worry about. Once something moves into the anal cavity that is when we are signaled that we have to go to the bathroom. So as long as you clean after each movement, there won't be anything in there to surprise you.

At the end the day, there will be times when you don't feel comfortable having penetration, but that is a factor in every sexual parrying. Heterosexual, homosexual, male couples, female couples, every one has it own biological nuisance. Though there are plenty of other things that can be done on those days.

 

The information that you found on the blog is incorrect.

In the the H&W forum, there's a sticky thread "Useful/Helpful/Informative threads on Physical and Sexual Health" that has information about anal sex and preparation for it.

 

There are many guys who do not enjoy giving or receiving penetrative anal sex. Your best bet is to find someone like you.

 

This Is A Very Strong Point, One of the things You'll need to do to reduce pain is relax, and if You're Waiting For You're First Time You'll be nervous and possibly stressed thus tightening the muscles in the "Back Door" Causing More Pain, Just Relax And Try To At Least Have A Orgasm Once :3

 

Based on past experience, simply having a bowel movement sometime within a few hours beforehand is quite sufficient. Lube and a condom generally keep anything remaining from sticking to anything and it just remains inside.

As far as loosening up the muscles, with a bit of practice you can learn to relax as needed about as easily/quickly as you shift your weight from one foot to the other. When you're first learning how, it takes some time and patience, but less than an hour (And the loosening process itself can feel quite nice once you get into it, so it's not like all work and no play here) most likely. And that time decreases as you get more practice. Note that if you find yourself enjoying the sensations and activity, you will find yourself relaxing faster each time.

Was in a three year relationship with a guy who loved topping to the point where it was a near nightly activity at times. As mentioned, got to the point where I could let him in as easily as shifting my weight and at will.

That all said, it's perfectly fine if you aren't into anal. Not all guys are. For that matter I'm not all that much into it. It feels nice enough and fine with doing it if someone wants to (obviously), but to me it's more on the level of a nice backrub than the sexual transcendence that many here seem to describe. I tend to find fingering more fun than all out anal. My current partner is much the same and we generally don't bother with it.

Hope this helps,

Todd

 

Its not that complicated. Get a dousche to clean yourself and sit on him until you loosen up. You might have to limit the dousching if you are planning on having sex every day. Basically, man up..