So I used to think I had body issues when I dealt with good looking girls. I didnt like the way I looked (mainly weight distribution.. I'm not that heavy, but it all goes to my chin/face in a horrible way) But since realising I'm gay, it's gone up 10x (around men)... In a good way! Like I'm actually motivated enough to DO something about it, whereas before if anything, getting depressed about my look I would eat more/etc. I Think maybe it was because of all my buried feelings and not *really* wanting to impress the girls.. Its not just weight loss, up until about 9 months ago I lived a horribly dysfunctional life. Overeating, drug addiction, depression, shut in my room all the time... I was always too depressed/lazy to get anything done. I'd tell people what my plans were and just never achieve them. I kinda became known for just making worthless plans. I have stopped taking the drugs completely for 7 months now with absolutely no urge to go back, I have lost 35kg (80lbs ish) - want to lose 10kg more, I have started to be happy and appreciate myself again. I've got to the point where I really enjoy physical exercise such as bike riding, whereas it used to just make me feel tired and painful. I just wanted to ask if anyone else has had a revelation/turnaround like this since realising their true orientation/gender/whatever? All this started happening before I really realised I was gay... during the first stages of confusion.. But as I have gotten healthier and started to realise I was gay, I've also realised that for the longest time I did not love myself. It didn't seem like it at the time but these buried repressed feelings were really causing me to suffer. I always wondered why I didnt have the same strength/drive/motivation that other people had, and I am starting to think it was because of being so lost/clueless/tricking myself into thinking I wanted women/etc. It's amazing to me because it all seems so obvious looking back, but I never picked up on it. The therapists I've seen never picked up on it. Nobody else in my life ever picked up on it... Despite the challenges that lie ahead, for the first time in my life I feel like I can be optimistic and stick to something I'm working towards. (!)
