Gender Identity: Gender Invalidity

[suckonpronouns]

So a few months ago, after years of gender identity struggles, I came to the realization that I'm pangender. However, in realizing this, I've felt like more of an outcast within the LGBT+ community than I ever have before - not to mention the human race in general. When people ask me what pangender means, I'm fine with explaining it to them because they're at least trying to educate themselves. But when I explain it to them (the best way I know how), more often than not, I get told that it's not real and I take that to mean that they consider my gender identity invalid. Am I wrong for getting aggravated and usually quite upset that a part of me is seen as about as real as the Tooth Fairy? It almost makes me wish I didn't identify as pangender and that I identified as something more "acceptable" to them. I don't know how to fix it, if it's even my position to do so in the first place.

[Fugs]

Don't listen to them, a vast majority of the world is comprised of idiots. There are still people that believe we didn't land on the moon. Tell them you're pangender and leave it at that. There's no need to make them validate you (though it makes you feel a lot better I know). After you tell them just calmly walk away or continue a different conversation. If you don't make a big deal of it people who interact with you will start to understand a bit better as life goes on and suddenly you'll be surrounded by people who understand and accept you. <3

[thecat06]

I totally understand what you mean.. I've had the same problem. I guess that the one thing that we can do is explain the meaning of pangender to others. We can show people that it is true gender identity.

I don't think that it is wrong to be aggravated... I just think that it is what you do with that anger that matters. You can either let that anger sit inside of you or you can do something productive with that anger. I've found that I can try to explain different identities to people. Even if they really don't care, you've still taught them something. They could be in another conversation later about the same topic and remember what you said. Then they might tell somebody else.

You also cannot let the people who are stedfast in their beliefs bother you. You just have to let that go. There is not much you can do about those people.

Sorry if that makes no sense at all... I'm not good at translating my thoughts onto paper..

[Deaf Not Blind]

Originally Posted by Fugs

Don't listen to them, a vast majority of the world is comprised of idiots. There are still people that believe we didn't land on the moon. Tell them you're pangender and leave it at that. <3

Bahahaha! You tell em Fugs!
Keeping in mind that other things you know are factually true that also they don't believe in should make you not give a care what they think, even pity them. A bus driver I talked to said once she prefers to live in ignorance she don't want to learn things, said it was hippie? I say it is stupidity. But maybe she don't have a dictionary.

I am kinda clueless still what terms like Pangender mean, so I just shrug and go okay. Too hard for my mind at this time to grasp. I don't say not real, although spellcheck says it aint, I say I am ignorant. Sometimes I need to hear it many different ways explained then see it, and then eventually it just dawns on me Ohhhh!

But say the word that makes YOU feel correct, not others. I am sure I am trans, not sure if I am straight or a little bisexual, and so I love the word Queer, cuz I am negatively constantly being told i am weird and different, and Queer means same thing, but I choose it not them. Heck not out but I used twice on FB to describe me. So what if somebody who is trans also says it confused them if i was gay, idc. Because it makes me un-confused, and it is clearer to me what I am and honest. So you should do the same, if Pangender does that for you, love it! I love Queer!

[solarcat]

Originally Posted by Deaf Not Blind

But say the word that makes YOU feel correct, not others. I am sure I am trans, not sure if I am straight or a little bisexual, and so I love the word Queer, cuz I am negatively constantly being told i am weird and different, and Queer means same thing, but I choose it not them. Heck not out but I used twice on FB to describe me. So what if somebody who is trans also says it confused them if i was gay, idc. Because it makes me un-confused, and it is clearer to me what I am and honest. So you should do the same, if Pangender does that for you, love it! I love Queer!

Exactly. No one else can tell you who you are, so it's up to you to say what you are. There's no point in trying to fit into someone else's definitions. If you identify as pangendered, then you're pangendered, and no one can tell you you're not.