Gender Identity: My gender identity?

[daftyduff]

For a while I thought that I was transgendered, but now I know that's not the case. However, more confusion has arisen.

Biologically and physically, I know that I'm a male. However, mentally, emotionally and spiritually I don't feel like either gender. I'm also altering my appearance to appear more effeminate: I'm growing out my hair, losing weight, going to start using moisturizers, wearing more gender neutral clothes, wearing make-up, etc.

What exactly am I?

[Spatula]

genderqueer

gender identity, much like sexual preference, is a spectrum

[Ianthe]

Well, I'm really more familiar with this coming from the other end--that is, I'm more familiar with people who are physically female but very masculine. Still, I think it's roughly the same in principal. I think it's too bad, though, that there isn't as clear an identity for feminine men as there is in the butch identity for masculine women.

You can identify in any way you like. In the first place, it is completely possible, and permissible, to be a man who is very feminine. (Do you like the word "effeminate?" I'll use it for you if you like it, but there is nothing wrong with just using "feminine," and I feel like saying that someone is effeminate carries a connotation that he shouldn't be, like it's a less valid version of being feminine. Which I don't agree with. Your femininity is just as valid as mine, and I'm a girly girl, okay? Nobody would ever call me "effeminate.")

You can also, as Spatula mentioned, identify as "genderqueer." Some people like the word "androgyne," or describe themselves as androgynous.

The key is to find something that resonates for you. The only right answer is the one that feels right.

But I want it to be clear that you can be really femme and still identify as a man. It's allowed.