I been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about a year and a half, were both 22 years old. for some time I have thought he might be gay, from him acting femmine and his mannerisms that 'come out' and the stuff he says sometimes, I don't know if its because he was raised in a house with only women or something else... we were watching a show on tv awhile ago that had a gay character in it and he said he thought that guy was cute, he also has said he likes lady gaga because she "tells gay people to be themselves" and he has brought up gay rights to me a few times, which kinda surprised me.. he has no problem climaxing during sex or anything like that, and he owns a few straight porn videos that I know about. i asked him before if he was attracted to guys and he said no.. but i still have this weird feeling he is. i love him very much and he tells me he loves me. do you think i could be just over analyzing everything?
It's hard to say, not being there, but based on what you typed, I wouldn't worry about his mannerisms or interests. The thing that's most indicative of the fact that he might be hiding something is the fact that he commented on a guy's attractiveness. That being said, however, some of my straight male friends will comment on a male's attractiveness in a joking manner. Did it sound like he was joking when he said that or did he sound serious? If he has no issues keeping an erection or climaxing during sex, he's probably not gay, though it is possible that he might be bisexual or have a slight attraction to men. But again, I can't say for sure, those are just some of my thoughts.
...It could be possible that he's straight. Maybe he's bisexual. Maybe he's gay. There's not enough info to go off of from here. With that said, I don't find anything here to be cause for concern.
Why does everyone assume someone is gay just because they stick up for a disadvantaged group. Its stilly. Maybe he is just a good person and not insecure with his sexuality!
From what you've said, there's certainly enough reason to be concerned. The problem is, if he is gay, he likely is still somewhat in denial himself, *or* sort of knows, but hasn't yet accepted it himself. Unfortunately, there isn't a whole lot you can do if he isn't willing to own up to it. You do, however, owe it to yourself to prepare for the possibility that he is gay. Our "later in life" forum is full of people who got married in spite of knowing they were gay, hoping it would change them, and it didn't, and now they've messed up not only their own life, but that of their spouse. I'd keep the thought in the back of your mind, and if you see further signs, you may have to talk to him in more detail. If he is gay, he won't admit anything until he's ready, though, and the issue may be that he won't be ready for months or years.
Lol, who cares if he is gay. If he wants to be with you then what else is there to say? I think people have the ability to fall in love with one another, regardless of sexual preference. If it was only you two on an island your saying you will only live as friends if you were both gay? Yeah right that person or you two will become partners n naturallly develop feelings for another stronger then just a friendship. Social pressures will make you question something so forbidden imo
None of what you said is actual proof... The only way to truly know whether he's 'gay' or not is to ask him.
Yep, I believe you're over-thinking it. If he says he's straight, and you're satisfied in the relationship, and he's not cheating on you, then don't fix what isn't broken. Also, don't spy on him. I'd dump you in a heartbeat if I caught you doing that.
He has "no problem" with sex with a woman. So clearly this is not an entirely gay guy we're talking about. His most gay level possible would be bisexual, and that doesn't matter. Yes, feminine guys are more likely to be gay. But there are so few gay people anyway. If we take men who fulfill none of the stereotypes, maybe 1% are gay. If we take men who are sort of feminine, maybe 2.5%. If we take men who are pretty feminine, maybe 5%. If we take men who routinely parade around in drag, maybe 75%. So there's still a huge chance he's not gay.
it didn't sound like he was joking on commenting on the guys attractiveness, there are some other things that I was confused about, like him wanting to watch the nate berkus show, and other shows with gay hosts on them. saying things like we should bust in on your brother in the shower, it don't sound like hes joking
Who knows? Maybe he's gay, bi, straight, or something totally different. Mostly it matters that you guys love each other and have a good relationship.
Okay, well first and foremost: I wouldn't take him liking gay celebrities or saying positive things about gays as a sign that he, himself, is gay. In fact, if he's passionate about gay rights and is comfortable talking about them, I see that as a sign that he's comfortable and confident with his own sexuality. Commenting on other guys' attractiveness...I really don't know what that's about, but I will say that, as a gay guy, I will sometimes comment on a woman's attractiveness and be sincere about it to a certain extent. What I'll feel for her is so subtle and weak that I won't really care about it, and I might not even notice it unless I'm paying attention. But weak and subtle as it may be, it's still there. Your boyfriend might be experiencing some of that. Like I said, if your boyfriend has no issues keeping an erection or climaxing, and he doesn't show any resistance to having sex with you, he's probably at least attracted to women. At best, he might be bisexual, but I really don't think you have anything to worry about when it comes to him not being attracted to women. However, in the event that he is gay, or even bisexual, I agree with Chip, he will not admit to it until he's ready, and that could take a while. For now, I think you'll have to accept that, in all likelihood, he is, in fact, attracted to women. Maybe not exclusively, but enough for it to work in your relationship. But if you're still worried and notice further signs that he might be gay, you might want to ask him why he says the things he says about guys and go from there.
