I am 20 years old, at 14 i realized i was interested in women. I dated a girl for the first time at 15, but i got scared and pretended like it never happened. I continued on for the next five years dating many men. Everytime i was with a man, it just didn't feel good. everyone always told me how great it felt to be with their boyfriends, and to have sex. But spending time with boyfriends and sex never felt good to me. It felt like a chore. However in my second year of college i fell for this amazing girl, and i realize that i am not attracted to men at all. Which makes me a lesbian. The problem is that i don't feel like a lesbian. I don't feel like i ever had a revelation of when i realized i was a lesbian. I just don't understand why i don't feel any different now that i have accepted myself as a lesbian. Any ideas on what i should be feeling??
I think that is completely normal. Being "lesbian" is just a label, there's no reason that you should feel any differently because of it. For the majority of people coming out to themselves as a very gradual process rather than a single epiphany, and it sounds to me like you're still getting your head around it, so just give yourself some more time. If you exclusively like women, that qualifies you as a "lesbian", but it is up to you whether or not you choose to use that label.
Honestly it wasn't a big epiphany moment for me either. I didnt have much angst it was just kind of like "well that makes more sense..." and I still have doubts like "I haven't dated anyone so how do I know?" Or "I'm really turned on by girls but can imagine myself long term with a boy, why?" And I'm still working on the latter but I think it's just time and fully accepting myself. Maybe it's the same for you and maybe it's different but I wouldn't give it too much thought, EC is a great place to figure these things out! (*hug*) On another note, :welcome: to EC! (!)
There's not really any feeling af being gay, bi, straight, or lesbian. It's just something that you discover about yourself. The only feeling you experience are of those to the people you are attracted to. I'm not Trans, however I'm sure that their lives are even more complicated than gay, bi, or lesbian, and of course most definitely straight.
I've liked girls since I was really young, but I denied my feelings too. However, once I accepted who I was, I felt a sense of relief. I know everyone is different, but I actually do feel gay. All of the struggles that I've had to endure being a lesbian, turned me into the person that I am today. Being a lesbian has shaped my personality, beliefs, actions and how I treat others. I actually feel like I have the mentality of a straight man, but that's just me :lol: And the reason why I can say that I feel gay, is because when I was pretending to be straight, it did not feel right at all. I felt very phony and like I was living someone else's life. A lot of people would say that you should not let your sexuality define who you are, but I have. I know that I have many amazing qualities, but because I'm gay, those qualities make me more unique.
