Just to preface this: I'm 28 years old. I've had more than my fair share of relationships with women and up until recently, I never saw other men in any sort of sexual or romantic way. So you can imagine why I'm a bit confused that this is happening now, all of a sudden. About two years ago, I moved into an apartment with an old friend and one of his friends, a guy I had never met before then. We'll call him C. Well, C and I immediately hit it off. It was like we were separated at birth and had found each other again. Although we hadn't known each other for very long, I considered him my best friend and told him things that I had never told anyone before, not even my longest-term girlfriend. I assumed he was being as open with me, but then I found out from our mutual friend and roommate that he was bisexual. That didn't bother me, but the fact that he hadn't told me did. A lot. When I asked C about it, he said he'd thought he might have feelings for me and didn't want it to ruin our friendship. It didn't; six months later we're still as tight as ever. Now it's me that's the problem. Ever since he came out to me, I can't stop thinking about what it would be like to be with him. Physically. Emotionally. Pretty much every wet dream I've had since then has been about him, and it doesn't turn me off. Actually, it's hot as hell. And when he brings home guys, I find myself getting kind of jealous. I'm not attracted to any other guys (so far anyway), which makes these feelings even harder to ignore and understand. Am I bisexual? Am I just afraid of losing my best friend? Should I act on this or just ignore it? I have no idea what the hell I should do now. Any suggestions?
It sounds as though it's highly likely you just value him as a really close friend, but the fact that you want him physically is hard to ignore. Sexuality can be a subtle thing, not so neatly divided into a number of distinct categories. You're allowed to like him back without saying you're bi/gay/whatever, as long as he understands that's the nature of your attraction to him. If you want anything to happen, I'd strongly suggest telling him about this, and maybe even throw in the part about being jealous when he brings home guys. If not, you could always let it go and continue being friends, but in my personal experience, action and closure are better than playing "what if" for the rest of your life. Hope it all goes well for you.
