Okay, so I came across the term of "demisexual" a few nights ago, and I think I fit it pretty well. I've identified myself as bisexual for a few years now and am really comfortable with it. At one point I thought I was even gay because I rarely feel sexual attraction towards guys--Like, being able to picture myself having sex with a guy--without it seeming weird. With that being said, I've recently came to terms with being in love with one of my guy friends. I've only known him for approximately a year now, and he helped me through my very first depression, so I'm pretty...emotionally connected with him, which fits with being demisexual. He doesn't know about it, though. Only about two months into our friendship I started thinking of him sexually, and it actually really turned me on. I'd think of him while masturbating, and I got really wet--that's NEVER happened to me before! I could also think of having sex with him, and have it feel right, which was fairly new to me. Once I even thought of him in the shower, and I got so wet that I could hardly handle myself because it was so uncomfortable. I'd never even gotten that wet while masturbating--ever! Also, my ex-girlfriend and I were close for a few years while we were best friends and dated. We would sext (she lived in another state) and that would really turn me on, but if I ever thought of doing the same thing with someone else that I wasn't so emotionally close with, that I wouldn't get turned on as much, or at all, really? Whenever I hear about people hooking up with others for one night stands or just to be FwB, I'm always repulsed and can't help but think "Ew, why would you have sex with someone that you're not in love with?!" because I couldn't ever imagine myself doing that with someone I don't truly love. I always thought it might be because I'm just, you know, not the type of person to just sleep around, but now I'm thinking of it entirely differently. Help?!
We can't tell you what label, if any, would apply to you, as you perhaps know. That'd be somewhat crass and presumptuous of us. With that said, if you feel that you're a demisexual, then perhaps you really are. It sounds like you have a better sense of yourself and would know better than us, for sure. I'm a bit lost, though. So what do you need help with? We can't really reassure you that you're a demisexual. What you can do to see if you are one is read around in threads and around on the site and find things that resonate with you. You'll find clarity in yourself that way. I wish you the best =)
I know how you feel. I've always been that way. I can't do things with people unless I've known them a while and am in love with them. Because of that, I've only had sex with two people, in my twenty years. And I only started having sex after I turned 18. And heck, my current boyfriend knew me for almost a year before anything sexual, or even romantic, happened. I just can't imagine having sex with someone that I barely know or don't have intense feelins for. I'm not saying that anyone that does is wrong os gross. It's just not for me. But I feel like I'm demisexual. You could be too, if that term feels right.
I too, completely understand. I have only had sex with three different people in my whole life, and each one I was friends with for at least a year, or more. BTW, I do have many friends, and have only had one sexual partner in the last 13 years. I now understand why though. I didn't fall in love with my wife of 13 years until I knew her for over a year.
