Hello everybody my name is Alexis I am 18 years old and I've liked girls since I was about I dunno 13, I could never admit to my family but I had girlfriends I was never attracted to boys but then I met Pauly, I fell in love, but I don't know if I fell in love because I felt as if I had to or because I really do, we are still together and were engaged, he knows I really like girls, I do t really like guys at all, it's hard for me because I want to be with a girl but I love him, and I don't know what to do with myself. I can never tell my family, I'd be dis owned, I just need support, Thank you.
Hello Lexi, I feel that a recurring theme here is that you have to do what's right for you. Can you imagine your life with Pauly? I feel that there has to be at least some sort of sexual attraction for that to work long term. Deep down, is a marriage to a guy what you really want? If you're already torn between wanting a girl and being only emotionally attracted to your significant other, that might not bode well for long term. As for your family, I know that's hard. But can you imagine how hard it would be if after a few years of a marriage, you realize you just can't sustain the relationship?
I know, it really does kill me inside, I have to really look within myself and I think I am really terrified to do that...
Confusion over sexuality can be so frustrating, but it sounds like you already know deep down that you have a total lack of sexual attraction towards one gender and a desire for the other gender. I could be reading you wrong but does that sound accurate?
It does, I emotionally love my fiancé, with all my heart undoubtedly, but, I crave and cry out for love from a woman, I'm very confused but I've always loved women...
I know you're in a tough situation. I'm sure there are others here that will weigh in because there are others that have only recently discovered that their sexuality is different then they thought it was. They were (or are) in marriages and I'm sure can give you input. Have you thought about telling your fiance? It's going to be a tough pill for him to swallow, undoubtedly, but he may be supportive, because, after all, this wasn't a choice for you.
Hey Alexis, Congratulations on your engagement. It sounds like you might be bisexual with a preference for women, or you might even be pansexual. Just remember that true love can be more powerful then gender, and the only person who can determine your sexual orientation is you. Best of luck
