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Does orientation transition really exist?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by dirtyrascal, Jul 11, 2013.

  1. dirtyrascal

    Regular Member

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    I came out as a gay man when I was 20 years old. Prior to that I had numerous crushes on girls, or at least what I thought were.. I even pursued relationships, but this was very rare as I was and still am quite a shy guy. I've dealt with a lot of anxiety and depression that's inhibited me from reaching out and experiencing my sexual fantasies to the fullest. It's left me to wonder..

    After coming out I've been in one relationship with a guy that lasted 7 months. He's the only guy I've ever had sex with. I've never had sex with a woman, though.

    After the relationship ended last fall I've been in a weird situation where I don't feel attracted to men anymore. At least not like I used to be. I used to date guys, even fool around a bit, but never sleep with them.. now I don't even pursue any of that. I'm not interested. The idea of sex with a man at this point turns me off. The idea of sex with a woman doesn't gross me out, but it's not something I'm out there trying to pursue either. It's very confusing.

    When it comes to porn, anything can get me off. When I say that I mean gay sex, straight sex, lesbian sex. That doesn't help with porn being an indicator for me.

    I guess what I'm wondering is if sexual orientation transition actually exists? I'm a science guy and so the idea of it being anything other than 'fixed' seems obscure to me, but maybe that mindset has limited my experiences as well..

    Thanks for your feedback. I appreciate it.
     
  2. john1b1

    john1b1 Guest

    Orientation is definitely fluid over time. I couldn't give you a scientific reason for it, but I can assure you that it happens. I wouldn't worry too much, just go with the flow! If you're attracted to someone and you want to pursue it, go ahead. It doesn't matter what gender they are.
     
  3. unknown17050

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    I think it can be transitional over time, mostly due to some stories on this site of people slowly being attracted to a certain sex they never were attracted to before, so it is possible, but in your case; I think you're just a little down on your luck, maybe you're Bi and need to get yourself out there. :slight_smile: Personally, I'd experiment with both just to be on the safe side.
     
  4. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

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    There is little, if any, credible scientific support for the notion that orientation is fluid over time. There's abundant evidence that people's preferences can vary over time, but this appears to have more to do with processes of denial or resistance than any indication that orientation actually shifts.

    In the case of the OP, is it possible you are depressed? What I hear you describing is an overall lowering of sex drive in general rather than a specific shift in one direction or another. Further complicating factors, if shame or self-esteem issues are creeping into it, that can alter or mask your perceptions of attraction as well.
     
  5. dirtyrascal

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    Thanks for the replies. Chip, depression could have something to do with it. I've suffered from body dysmorphia, which is an image disorder, since I was 16 years old.. it's obviously had a big impact on my experiences with the opposite and same sex.
    When I was with my ex I had a pretty normal sex drive, but now I'm not interested in sex at all.. and I don't masturbate regularly either. It's gotten to the point where I'll have nocturnal emission because I don't release enough. Mentally I feel fine, so it's hard to pinpoint it on depression, but there's something definitely going on with my sex drive. I've wondered if I should see a doctor about it or not for a little while..