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Am I bisexual or a lesbian?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by electricgirl, Jul 13, 2013.

  1. electricgirl

    Regular Member

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    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    I know for sure that I am not straight by any means. However, I've known, well thought I've known, for a while that I am bisexual. Just to start off from early childhood, I remember liking this one boy in 1st grade up until 3rd grade. But, that doesn't really count for me. I remember playing house with my friends, who were all girls by the way, and always playing the boy because I didn't like the role of being pursued. I'm not confused about my gender, I feel perfectly fine with the body that I am. I used to kiss on my friends that were girls while playing this games, but I didn't think too much of it. Then I started getting little crushes on girls I would meet when I was younger. I would always wonder to myself "Do I like girls?". Sometimes I didn't want to believe it, and others I would be content. Fast forward to around fifth grade and I start liking my best friend. We started experimenting with a lot of things sexually, and I liked it a lot. We did it a lot, every time she came over my house up until about 7th grade when I ended it. I told her I couldn't do it anymore. I told her I just wasn't in the mood anymore. Mainly the reason for this was because she wouldn't admit that she had feelings for me and that she was into girls as well. Now that I think back on it,I realize that I cannot tell someone their sexuality. I guess I just didn't want to feel alone in coming to terms that I like girls. So I laid off of girls for a while after that. Then I entered a new school and I started liking these two guys. I had like major crushes on them, but once I got to know them, I didn't like them at all anymore. When things didn't turn out the way that I wanted with them, I wasn't sad because I felt like I wasn't missing out on anything. Since I didn't know any lesbians or bisexual girls in real life, I turned to talking to online girls who were more like me. I mean it was great just chatting w/ girls who were like me, but I knew I could never really go out with them of course, it just wasn't practical. But anyways, I had this "girlfriend" that lived in another state and that wasn't too good. However, I did have intense feelings for her for just a short amount of time. Like feelings I've NEVER had for a guy at all. Then I just brushed it off because I thought that those feelings were not valid since it was long distance. We video chatted all the time and called and text each other. But I still didn't consider it real. But I do find guys attractive and would possibly date them. However, I've never had a sexual dream about guy before in my entire life. I'm 16, but I know girls who have sexual dreams about guys and they are straight. I only have them about girls. That's what makes me think that I am into girls more than guys sometimes. I've had dreams about being in relationships with girls and not guys. I just don't understand. I think that I'm sure but unsure at the same time. I don't know what to think. Could you guys help me out?
     
  2. LD579

    Full Member

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    Well, you said it yourself (bolded above). For what it's worth, you may wish to look into the Kinsey Scale. Sexuality isn't either gay, straight, or bisexual. There are varying degrees, and more terms and descriptors for sexuality, but the Kinsey Scale may be a good start for you. I wish you the best =)
     
  3. solitudeisbliss

    Regular Member

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    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Sexuality is totally fluid and you don't need to label yourself unless you want to! If I were you I would go with bisexual or pansexual. Or maybe lesbian with straight tendencies! Or just "queer" is fine too!
     
  4. Minnie

    Regular Member

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    Hm, I'm not too sure if you're exclusively lesbian or bisexual with a tendency towards women. For your dreams, I think you have to think about how you feel during them (if possible) and when you wake up - do you feel aroused/emotionally satisfied/confused/nothing etc? Could it be you have lesbian dreams due to exclusively lesbian desires, or your past experiences, or both? Also, if you find yourself attracted to guys visually but not emotionally, this could be either due to their individual personalities, better emotional romantic connections with women, or possibly a "fear" of men. It may even be that you are gay but can appreciate male beauty.
     
  5. Ang

    Ang
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    I'd just go with your first sentence; that you're "not straight". Other than that I have no idea about myself either and the few people that I've come out to I've said just that. I know that at the moment I lean far more toward women than men but there's no absolute way to say if that makes me bi leaning toward women or lesbian. I'm just happy exploring