Hey Ec, there is something I have been thinking a lot about recently. I am closeted still to all people except for two that I know. I am a three on the kinsey scale and therefore am equally hetero and homo. I feel that I sometimes want to have a relationship with a woman, but don't see myself loving her sexually . I watch shows and see women - their boobs look good to me, that's about it. I am currently dating another guy, but we are LDR. We talk with each other pretty much every day, but I feel different than him. For example, he is like Kinsey 5 or 6 and he is not very masculine, but not campy. I , however , am masculine, and like to do masculine stuff. I feel like I just want a relationship, but I feel sort of wrong, like I'm not gay sometimes. I still find it hard to say out loud "I'm gay", but I want to be someone else. I hope this makes sense. I feel like I have HOCD - I feel in denial sometimes and it makes me angry.
Don't worry, this isn't something that you and only you are facing. Many people on here just give up on labels and say things like "mostly into guys" or "75% lesbian." This could work for you, or maybe you are emotionally attracted to women and men, but only sexually attracted to men. And liking masculine stuff is normal for a lot of gay guys, which makes being feminine is often one of the most frustrating stereotypes.
