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Lesbian? Oh, wait, Demisexual. Oh, no, lesbian. No, demisexual! Help?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Lonely Soul, Jul 14, 2013.

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  1. Lonely Soul

    Lonely Soul
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    Hey :slight_smile:
    So, I've been questioning for a while now and all that came out of it was more and more confusion!

    The only relationship I've ever had was with a guy, but it didn't feel right. Being with him was like a chore. Anyway, there was this one time when he tried to make things go further (don't want to give too much detail, but well, you know what I mean) and my reaction was to shove him and get away from him, and, well, I threatened him with a knife (sorry if TMI).

    I know this may mean something or it may not mean anything, but I still can't tell what I was feeling then. There was some panic, which is natural, but there was something else there too.

    Flash forward, after some time and other things happening in my life, I realised I wasn't attracted to guys and, surprisingly, I felt okay with it from the start. I came out as a lesbian to a couple of friends who were really supportive. My biggest worry were my parents, who are really homophobic.

    I didn't get to enjoy this for much longer, as I started to question my sexual attraction. I know I have a romantic attraction to girls, but I still can't imagine having sex with one. So I started to think I could be a homoromantic asexual.

    But this didn't 'fit' comfortably, and after thinking A LOT I realised I HAVE sexual attraction to girls, but I have to be emotionally connected to them first. So I thought I was demisexual.

    The thing is, I "vary" from lesbian to demisexual and all of this going though my head is driving me crazy! Help, please?
     
    #1 Lonely Soul, Jul 14, 2013
  2. LD579

    LD579
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    It may help to not get attached to labels. Sometimes, for some people, labels do more harm than good. It may be best to just float along, so to speak, and let life come to you. You're still young, as you hopefully know, and so many experiences and people will come into your life =)

    With that said, labels can also be helpful. For me, personally, it's much easier to say that I'm gay instead of that I like guys sexually, physically, emotionally, and romantically, that I'd like to date and cuddle with one, and that I'd like to have sex with one and build a relationship and future with one... you know? :wink:
     
    #2 LD579, Jul 14, 2013
  3. Kamina

    Kamina
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    First of all ^that^ so much love for that statement

    Second of all I wouldn't worry to much about specifying between demisexual and lesbian. If you feel little to no sexual attraction to guys then you could just identify as lesbian, no one would question that. That being said you can be a demisexual lesbian. Whoo! Problem solved! (!)

    Lol but seriously I think what you are feeling is pretty normal.Your sexual attraction may... (cant find the right word) ...strengthen (?) later or you may need an emotional connection to feel a physical one, either way you can have healthy, good relationships so dont get bogged down by details! :thumbsup:
     
    #3 Kamina, Jul 14, 2013
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