Hi everyone. Im a fourteen year old, and am going to be starting high school next year. Ok so i live in the bay area with an extremely awesome and liberal family, in an anoyingly rich neighborhood of mean rich people, aka Los Altos, California. So i had been questioning my sextuality ever since i was as young as 10 or 11. I had felt different before then, and i had had crushes on men before then too. Well, at around 6th grade i began to go through puberty and a lot of change happened in me. One of which was my sextual thoughts. When i looked at girls, i thiught they were pretty, and emotionally i was attracted to them. But when i pooked at guys, i thought they were hot and i was sextually attracted to them (boner) and as i grew older i began to see more gay themed things on tv shows and such. I became more and more attracted to guys. Well when i turned thirteen, i basically knew i was gay. But i couldnt admit that to myself. I just dont know why. The evidence is inside me. I dont know why i cant say that im gay to myself, bc i told my cousin tyler after he cane out this summer. Im just a little confused about my emotions now. I feel like i need someone to tell me im gay haha (as crazy as that sounds) because i am having trouble accepting that, even thiugh im so happy when i think about guys, and i was thrilled when i came out ot my cousin. Ahhhhhh emotions, someone help:help:
Ah I know what you mean about feeling like you need someone to tell you what your sexuality is!! It can be really confusing and it would be annoying to finally muster up the courage to come out as a gay and then realize you were actually bi- for example. I think it does sound like you are homosexual- if you are both physically and romantically attracted to men and not women, . But in saying that, sexuality is fluid and I don't think many people are 100% gay, 100% straight. I think you felt happy about coming out to your cousin because maybe you were finally able to confide in someone who understands what you are going through- and you were finally able to be honest with yourself. When I came out to my friends everything felt that much more real to me, like I didn't feel "officially" bi beforehand. I hope you figure everything out!!
Thanks!!! ---------- Post added 16th Jul 2013 at 11:56 AM ---------- One more thing thou. I've got a pretty big group of friends, and a lot of them are girls. When im around girls, i have a lot of fun and i feel like they are easy to talk to. Its so muxh easier with them. But as far as sexual attraction goes you couldn't get me remotely aroused by a naked girl. So i dnt know if tht makes me bi or gay
Personally, you could parade six months worth of Playboy and Penthouse centerfolds around me stark naked and I very much doubt I'd feel anything (except annoyance if they were interrupting my book or my view of that hot Marine jogging by in shorts, shoes, and an Ipod, but I digress). Obviously, I identify as 100% gay. But that's just me. Being gay doesn't mean you have to find women repellent, it just means you don't feel anything for them sexually. Harder to say if you might feel something romantic for a guy, since male-male relationships don't normally get that close (although some close friendships can go there or lead to romantic feelings, which can be confusing or distressing for one or both guys). Could you potentially think of yourself as 'not straight' as an interim step and then see how things develop over the next few years? You might find your feelings firming up or have experiences with both males and females that help clarify things for you. Just a thought, Todd
