Hi there, I'm 25 and confused. I am a female who doesn't know if I'm straight or gay. I've never had a relationship with a guy because I have never really wanted to. The thought of spending my free time with a guy makes me uncomfortable. I just don't feel comfortable around men who are attracted to me. I don't mind hanging out with my brothers or dad, or my sisters bf's but any other men is just like NOOO! I always just assumed that this was because I hadn't yet met the right one, but lately, I started to realize that it's more because I just don't find men attractive both physically or emotionally. I've kissed, fooled around (him to me)and had sex twice with a guy but I usually have had to have a few drinks first. I have never even touched a penis. I find them gross (sorry). On the other hand, I think I have always been attracted to women, just did not understand my feelings. I mean growing up I was in awe of some girls. I would think their "hot", but I assumed that all girls were thinking that, or that maybe I was just jealous of them. I have also had close friendships with girls that kind of mirrored a relationship. However, nothing ever happened sexually within the friendships. I thought all female friendships were that intense. I have never done anything with a girl, but I don't know if that's because I'm not attracted to them or more because I'm scared of being gay? When I think of being with a girl it doesn't gross me out. I just don't know what to do? Part of me is even scared this means I'm asexual? Any help / advice would be great! Thanks a lot. -D
To me, it sounds like you may be a lesbian. You sound a lot like I did in my early teenage years when I was trying to figure out why I didn't want to be with guys. I'd say try looking at some girls and see how you feel.
A lot of what you're saying sounds like what I've been going through recently. I'm 20 and I finally started letting myself explore some confusing feelings I've had for years. Just like you, I just assumed that the reason I didn't feel emotionally connected to guys was because I hadn't met the right one yet and that my extremely close friendships with girls were normal. Also just like you, penises gross me out...I just don't "get" them I guess haha. I wish I could give you a definite answer to all of this but I'm still trying to figure everything out myself too. It's all so confusing - one day I'm positive I'm a lesbian because the thought of a girlfriend makes me really happy and warm inside but other days I start to doubt myself and that warm feeling sort of goes away and I get SUPER confused again. I'm fairly certain that I am a lesbian but there are still days when I feel so lost. I'm sorry I can't give you a more definitive answer but I think the best thing to do is give it time and try to not stress out about it (I know how hard it is to not stress out, but try to just take some deep breaths and keep your mind off of it for a little while) because that is when we can think clearest about all of this. p.s. To Abbra, I love your Hannah Hart quote!!! Looooove her!
Thank you sooo much. I actually feel a little better knowing that there are two people in the world that have felt the same feelings I have been feeling lately. It's just hard when your faced with happy people all the time that don't seem confused or anything about life. I reinforces just how f**ked up I feel. I wish I didn't feel like this and sometimes I just want to shake myself and tell myself to GET IT TOGETHER, but the truth is I can't. I feel like my feelings are directing themselves all on their own and I have no control over them. I wish I could feel the way other girls feel about guys and that I was all gaga over them but I can't. I don't know, I'm just rambling now...just ya, thank you for being honest, I truly appreciate it, more than you know. -D
I can sympathize with how you are feeling completely. I was talking to my friend who is gay about this the other day. I did not receive the support I would thought I would of. I told him I thought I was bisexual or lesbian because being with a guy simply grosses me out. He said I felt that way because of a bad experience. But I dont think that is something I can ever overcome. I feel like it would be natural for me to be with a girl. If I am busy and the thought pops into my head it makes me happy makes me feel like I have a future I have always wanted a family and a child or two but when I have down time I over think it and start thinking what my friends and family would say or do. I know the feeling. I think being honest with yourself and doing what you feel is right for you is the first step in this whole thing. But I am learning this with you.
