Basically, I'm an 18 year-old male and starting to wonder what I should do regarding some of the feelings I've been having. Since I can remember, I've always had an interest in the same gender, although not realising what it meant. Thanks to my Dad's incredible homophobia, I eventually realised what it really meant to be gay and have continuously gone through phases of fantasising about the same sex. I have had a full-on, penis in vagina, sexual experience before. Didn't really think that much of it. Not so long ago, I had a session of mutual masturbation and oral with a male friend. I can honestly say I look back on that experience and think wow. Afterwards he kind of turned and was like I'm not gay blah blah blah. I was pretty heart-broken truth be told. The confusion is, at work there is a girl who I sexually fantasise about all day. Nothing will ever happen, but I'm wondering what it means in regards to my long-standing attraction to the same gender. I want to try something more with a man, but I haven't had enough heterosexual relations to go making any rash decisions. It also doesn't help that I dont know where to find anyone or how to identify them as gay. I really want to make an informed decison than jump into bed with someone. Also, when i watch porn, sometimes i watch gay porn, sometimes straight. Whenever i fantasise myself being in the scene, i always imagine being the woman. I feel like i wish i was a woman a lot. Does this mean I'm transgender too?
Hi rusteejay I can't offer much help as having problems myself, but i would say if you can find the opportunity experiment with both sexes. Have you had much straight sex or just the once. Was you thinking of having sex with a man while doing it. I think you are in the bi-curious stage & until you have experienced full on sex with both sexes you will not be able to decide. Don't keep putting it off as when you get older you can like me start regretting not following your heart.
Yeah I guess so, all I really wanna do is just move forwards and try things see where they take me really. The weird thing is I act really straight but people have comments for years cuz of some of things I say and do. Its not campness its just some things about me i guess :/
Just been reading a post in the sticky threads under sexual orientation sub section Am I Gay. Its pretty powerful stuff, It might be worth a read could clear up some questions you have, its defiantly got me thinking now.
I think the best thing to do is perhaps see what you can find with regards to finding someone gay to practice with but I can't really in all honesty suggest hooking up on a hook-up site. I just hope you'll be able to figure it out though it does sound like you might be bisexual given you talk about both enjoying your experience with your friend but also having sexual fantasies with women.
Wow. That was a magnificent piece. Modern-day philosophy I'd say! I guess I wrestle with the family thing. I want that, I know I still can but don't want to adopt. My mum was adopted and my grandparents have always been great. I literally grew up with them cuz my dad was busy refusing to accept the burden of responsibility at 20, while my mum was forced to accept it and deal with it. Naturally, I'd be a very stereotypical gay. Close to my mum, distant with my dad. I guess my family dynamics make this decision difficult. Well, its not a decision, more of a deal with it or refuse to deal with it. Any advice on a family perspective cuz it only mentioned coming out of the closet and accepting it.
