I am a 14 year old girl and a while ago I was watching TV and this girl came on and she was so beautiful and I just thought: Am I lesbian? I used to watch lesbian porn and I get turned on by girls more than guys. But I was so in love with this one guy and it was mainly about his personality (he was cute too though) and I liked him for about a year. In the past I have had actual dreams, while sleeping, of many guys. There were dreams in which I was kissing them or some even having sexual intercourse. I have never liked a girl though, but I fantasize about them. I feel like I want to have a sexual encounter with a girl, but I don't want to date one. I always see myself with guys and I get nervous around guys more than girls. I have liked a lot of guys in the past. I thought I was Bisexual, but now I am not so sure because I barely get turned on by guys, but I never think of a girl as my potential lover/dating a girl. Is sexuality only about sex? Also my mom is christian and hispanic, how do you think she would react? And what do you think my sexuality is? (lesbian, bi, pansexual or am I just bicurious?)
Let's break this down. Sexuality technically is only about sex. With that said, that's not the most important thing. The most important thing is who you'd want to have a lasting relationship with. What is it about girls that makes it so that you don't want to have a relationship with them? Feasibly it could be the societal stigma of such relationships... and it's possible that you could be in a relationship with one but don't yet know it. It's too hard to know how your mom would react with such little information. You say that you like guys and want to be in a relationship with a guy, but that they don't really turn you on. It sounds like girls turn you on much more but that you don't really want to be in a relationship with one. With that said, we can't tell you what your sexuality is. It's more nuanced than it may initially seem, as your case proves. Maybe you could look into what some of those terms mean more fully and see what resonates with you. Also, you might want to look into the Kinsey Scale. It's a nice start to realizing that being bisexual doesn't mean equal attraction to guys and girls. Anyways, welcome to EC =)
I got a 3 on the kinsey scale thing. I don't want to go out with girls, because I see them as friends not lovers or possible significant others. I thought I was bi curious, but then I started thinking about it more and I think I could be bisexual. I am not sure, but since I have liked a guy before I don't think I will ever be completely homosexual. I have also never liked a girl. I don't feel anything more than friendship when I am with a girl. Thats why this is so confusing and part of me just doesn't understand why I think I could even be the slightest bit homosexual
I agree with what Luthan said. I want to add that romantic and sexual orientation don't always line up. It is possible to be homosexual and heteroromantic (sexually attracted to the same gender, romantically attracted to a different gender). It's worth noting that romantic orientation is a little more easily disguised by our upbringing than sexual orientation. I never considered women as potential romantic partners until I was 19, and would probably still, to this day, be oblivious to the possibility if I hadn't had my first serious girl-crush then. The only way to know with any degree of certainty what your sexual or romantic orientations are is experience. It sounds like you already have a fairly good grasp of your sexual orientation. I would recommend making an effort to try imagining being with a girl romantically from time to time in order to normalize the idea and get a better sense as to what your feelings are.
I had never liked a guy before, but I still fantasised about sex with them. Now I've met the first boy I 'like'. I used to like girls but I'm liking guys more... Soz I dont have any advice, I just thought id let you know you're not the only one!
You're only 14, so there's no rush to label yourself. You should experiment more before you decide if you're bisexual or heterosexual.
