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Never have crushes on straight friends

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by hilltophouse, Jul 23, 2013.

  1. hilltophouse

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    A lot of coming out stories on here start with people having crushes on friends of theirs and so realising they have sexual/romantic feelings for the same sex. I'm interested to hear from people who haven't gone through this, especially if you have any theories as to why not!

    I've never had many female friends when I was younger, so I guess there wasn't that much chance of feelings developing. Girls in general would always make me feel really nervous, and in some cases kind of masculine - which I hated. Now I've started coming out to people as bisexual, I'm really often asked if I've ever fancied any of my female friends. Honestly I just haven't, which makes me feel like I'm somehow doing the whole liking girls thing wrong.

    I only tend to fancy people when I think there's a chance they will reciprocate! So I've so far only been attracted to women IRL who I know are also into girls.

    Is there anyone else in a similar position?
     
  2. Lindsey23

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    I don't think it's strange at all that you haven't had crushes on your female friends. I've had a lot of female friends over the years and they are just that - friends. Even if they were gay it wouldn't change that. The girls I had crushes on were all acquaintances and most likely straight so I never pursued anything. I don't think you are "doing it wrong." Everyone's experience is going to be a little different.
     
  3. apostrophied

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    I never had crushes on straight friends either (well, except this girl who *says* she's straight but I'm so sure she's gay---I digress, she's not really a friend anyway so there you go lol). Totally normal IMO. My friends are like family to me, how could I like them romantically?

    I, too, tend to be attracted to more "lesbian-looking" types of girls, which none of my friends are. Since the vast majority of these fine looking women seem to hold worldviews quite different from my own, I tend not to be friends with them (le sigh), which, by extension, means that I don't have crushes on my friends lol...
     
  4. Strange or not, you are very lucky lady.
     
  5. IntoTheDeep

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    Same here. I've only ever had one friend that I've developed feelings for, but I actually find it really gross to think about my most of female friends in any sort of romantic or sexual way. They're like sisters to me and it almost feels incestuous.
     
  6. Kamina

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    My friends are my friends, I don't have any feelings for them. There's only one girl who I like and I liked her when we were just acquaintances so I'm not counting her. :slight_smile: honestly my close friends are like my family, it would be weird to date them!
     
  7. hilltophouse

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    Thanks very much for all the replies. It's always reassuring to hear other people's stories