Hey everyone, I've been feeling better about myself over the last few months and being more comfortable with my sexuality. problem is that i have identified on here as gay and have thought i was gay for about a year. I still have had some thoughts about women and i still notice a nice ass or drawn to boobs and find myself staring. Thing is, i don't like the idea of being bisexual, i want to be straight(i know for sure i am not straight!), or gay! i don't like the idea of being bisexual. i feel like explaining this to my parents or something would be worse than being gay, because i feel like they would think that i should just be with women and forget about men and then all would be right in the world. i dunno, i took a few different kinsey tests and they have rated me at 4. again, i dunno...i like a womans features, like legs, ass, boobs, but honestly, the V grosses me out, also with men, i loooovvve seing a hard Penis, and mens bodies are nice too!! i dunno again, anybody have any feedback? also, as far as a relationship goes, i can see myself with a guy who clicks with me way before i could a woman
It's been said by at least one member on EC the sexuality we would least like to see (not believe) as a possibility and accept in ourselves is probably the one that probably hits closest to home. Also, while it's not at all uncommon for gay men to identify as bisexual early on in their coming out process, the inverse is also true: men who came out as strictly gay, only to identify as bisexual later in life. My own experiences would support this idea, identifying as strictly heterosexual for most of my life, falling for, lusting after, and generally enjoying my relationships with women, emotional abuse aside, later discovering the ability to be aroused by and crush on men as well. Others have said I "might be bisexual" and "might be curious", but accepting totally straight or totally gay always seemed an easier, and healthier alternative for me, except at some level, I know they don't do my sexuality justice, especially at this point in time, and that's what's kept me from identifying as solely one or another. I've also bounced back and forth over these past few months, avoiding the bisexual label due to stigma, uncertainty, and the restrictions that come with identifying as something too soon. If you can honestly see yourself enjoying relations with women, I would say put the labels aside for a while and give it a try - it's a whole different world worth experiencing, if you generally are attracted to women at all. I should also mention that for a long time, I didn't feel "queer enough" and tried to force and rush homosexuality - it didn't work. It's bizarre, I actually ended up repressing and denying my attractions towards women in the process! Sexuality is far from black-and-white, though many people insist it is. It's a journey, and if you live your life honestly and with confidence, you might end up surprising yourself and others in the process.
I'm bisexual and if I'm honest it sounds asif your leaning more towards being gay, but you are obviously still attracted to women but not as much as men... It all depends on what gender you feel most attracted to and more arroused by. Most people who are bisexual tend to lean more towards one gender but still feel the attraction to the other. In your case you may just be attracted to women because you were before you started liking men.
Do you have any traumatic experiences with females? Bad mother, ex gf,etc.. anything emotionally scarring at one point or currently in your life? Do you have self esteem issues and/or masturbate to porn or porn fantasies multiple times daily?
I, too, am afraid to label myself as bisexual. When I started getting emotional and physical attraction for other men, I wanted to label myself as homosexual. I still have feelings for women, though. I believe that you should avoid labels for now, and truly discover yourself first.
I am going through this right now. I don't want to be bi either. I can say that lately things have been easier not trying to control the process. I did the same thing for a while where I wanted to be gay as soon as I accepted that I wasn't straight, but that's not going to happen. I actually notice hot women less when I don’t feel as much like it would better if I didn't. If I cut myself loose it’s not a big deal and that hot lady ass may pass me by if I'm occupied. I was weird for a while when it seemed like a problem, and I'm sure worrying about it doesn't help. I know I always hate it when people say that. "Just don't worry." But I'm like if, "I could not worry I would just stop."
i use porn usually about 5 days a week. its almost always gay porn, or sometimes straight pron and i watch from the females perspective. very rarely, i'll watch porn and actually watch and get off from the male perspective. i'd say like 1 to 2 percent of the time. i do know this much, i WANT to start living gay, if that makes sense. I want to experience that and i want to get with a guy again, but this time not be completely homophobic like before and hate myself and cuss myself. i want to pursue a relationship with a man, NOT a woman. even though i feel i do, in fact, have a slight attraction to women, i don't think it's strong enough to justify being in a relationship with a woman instead of a man i guess.
What about real life males and females? Do you see yourself desiring both attractive guys and girls youse in public? Porn can't be the only determination. Does the sight of boobs arouse you?
Well I can get aroused talking to a girl about her boobs, but its all about if you feel it in your Dick, like that special twitch where you just want to fuck what it is that is arousing you.
That's most likely bisexual. It seems like that is turning you on. Nothing wrong with it. It is what it is. Have fun!
Do you feel like you can or would like to be some day with a woman? That's an important question. But also, the label you use, doesn't have to match exactly with your sexuality, if you feel you want to be with a man and now with a woman right now, and if you feel it's not important, come out as gay. Or if you feel you are extremely drawn towards males and just a tiny bit to females come out as gay. If later you find a woman just say, yeah, I like women too. That's not what I would do, but if it works for you, go ahead! Labels don't define your sexuality, labels are for people to know what to expect from a person. If you come out as gay but only date women, other people will be kinda shocked. Just remember, you only owe explanations to yourself.
Code: Welll, I feel like a lot of people would get hard talking to a girl about her own boobs. Its just, it would feel like I got a boner because a sexual topic was brought up, verses being actually attracted to the persons boobs. If I see a Dick for example, I get a boner and It feels good in my Dick, if I see tits I might only get hard but won't feel it, that good feeling like I do when I see a Dick. I'm not sure if that qualifies me as bisexual. Also, I'm still deciding if I could honestly be emotionally in love with a girl. I thought I was before I realized I was gay, but I had huge jealousy issues and a lot of fighting with the girl I thought I was in love with, I'm not sure If what I felt back then was real, fake, or if I was confusing fear and the idea for love given to me by social media as love. Its very confusing.
Not necessarily. But I know what you mean with sexual topics. Lesbian sex stories used to arouse me but I never liked the female body or the way they smelled, etc. There isn't a single hot girl I would sleep with. Just no attraction or desire. You could definitely be gay and not bi with that happening to you. I think this is the confusion where people think sexuality is very fluid. You just have to pay attention to what you truly desire. You could feel arousal even if the topic is gross! It doesn't necessarily mean we are somehow attracted. Be careful how you interpret the often cited Kinsey scale. It can confuse you even more! You can be a comfortable completely gay guy and experience a random erection over a woman and not feel desire or attraction. I think EC calls that a "Kinsey 4" :rolle:
