At the moment , I am out as Bisexual, to everybody except my family. My whole life I have always been more attracted to girls then guys. I started really noticing when i was 13, I was at the movies with a group of friends watching one of the Transformer movies and all the girls were talking about how hot Shia Lebouf was and me and the guys were just gawking Megan Fox. One of my girl friends noticed and said , "What are you a lesbian or something?" I went home and cried for hours. "You cant be gay . You're not gay Tori. " I kept telling myself... I was raised in a very strict christian family. My parents and relatives were always shoving there beliefs down our throats . I told my one aunt about the day at the movies , she said it was a phase. I believed her. Then I met my bestfriend , lets call her Hayley. She made me happy for once in my life. 7th grade was a rough year for me and she helped me alot . She told me she was bi. I wasnt out back then . She started kissing me and we would joke around that we were dating to people. But what she didnt know is i meant every word. I shortly after fell in love with her. And then she got a boyfriend. She told me that we couldnt joke around anymore and we couldnt kiss anymore or anything . She said people might think she was a lesbian and she couldnt have that. I went home and cried. From that day forward I tried to make myself believe i wasnt into girls . I started hooking up with random guys , going from one to another for the next 3 years. Now, im dating my guy bestfriend . Im not attracted to him physically at all whatsoever . Nor have I ever been really physically attracted to any guy. But emotionally , I really care about the kid. And I dont know if thats because I think of him more as a bestfriend still , or because i have true feelings for him . When we kiss its weird or almost like forced. When I even think about having sex with him , its weird. When I have kissed other guys or done stuff with them it feels forced. When I kiss girls, or do stuff with girls it just feels normal. Right now its just so hard and confusing. I just want your personal opinion. :help:
It doesn't really sound like you have an attraction towards guys... It's possible to care for many people, but I don't think there seems to be an element of romance between your guy best friend and you. I could be wrong. Just going off of what you said, though... that's what it looks like to me. It could just be your family's reaction to such things that makes you wary to exclusively like girls. That's not an uncommon thing.
From the things you posted it sounds like you aren't really interested in guys...you like them,you like beeing with them, you care for them, but only as a friend...right?! When you haven't romantic feelings for them and it feels forced to kiss them, there is nothing wrong with you. These are your feelings and that is completely ok. You had a crush on a girl, are attracted to girls in movies, you like how they taste, how they kiss and so on. Ok! then go for it. Just do what feels right and normal for you! Don't force you to do things that don't feel right for you. Does it feel right when you think about beeing in a relationship with a guy?! Or can't you imagine this? Does it feel better thinking about beeing with a girl? You haven't to give you a label as bi or lesbian when you aren't sure. Straight, bi, lesbian...not important as long as you listen to your heart and do what feels good for you
from what I read, It really do sounds like you are not into guys.. and I think you know it too. Just read your thread, the answer for your question is there. you are not attraction to men , but you do care so much about your best friend. what do you think? are you bisexual? When I found out I'm attracted to girls, it was hard for me. I wrote a message, like you, and ask people what do they think, am I really attracted to girls? when i think about it now, it was so obvious! I just hope that maybe people will tell me it's not true.. looks like you're doing it too. Maybe i wrong, at the end of the day you are the only one who know what you feel. I'm sorry to hear about what happened to you with your girl best friend.. I'm sure it was painful :/. But these things happen to everyone, and i'm sure you'll find someone someday who you really attracted to and love, and he/she will love you too It's okay to be whatever you are. To be honest, I personally would rather be gay than bisexual homoromantic.. girls are much more awesome than guys! I'm sure everyone will accept you, no matter what! your family and friend will accept you as bisexual, as straight and as lesbian. It may take time to some of them, like your family, but you are their dauther! they love you so so so much! remember that
