Hello everyone! I've been a lurker for a while now, but today I decided to make an account and finally ask my questions! It's a long story, i know, but I hope you can find some time to read it. Otherwise there is always the TL;DR at the end. Here goes A short while ago, after an event where a beautiful woman made me literally (yet descretely) stop and stare on my way to god knows where, I started questioning wether or not I was bisexual. This put me in a whirlpool of conflicting feelings. After some extensive self-reflection I quickly admitted to myself that I could be. The strange thing was that I felt sort of relieved. Like i've known for a long time and did not really admit it to myself, or was not allowed to think about. After I admitted it to myself the attractiveness towards women intensified. This intensification of feelings towards women confuses me. I have a very sweet boyfriend and I never really questioned my sexuality since he and I share a great bond, also sexually. The only thing that bothers me about our relationship is that I don't really miss him, and when i do miss him it is more the 'friend' (romantic?) aspect, not the sexual one. But when we're together, all is well and we have loads of fun. But now I find myself dreaming about how a life with a woman will look like. How we do normal everyday things and also how it is to be more intimate with one. The intervals between 'noticing' women in the street are shorter. etc. Does any of you experience an intensification of feelings towards the same gender after you accepted/noticed/questioned your sexuality? And will it last? Based on these feelings I have and the love for lesbian series and movies, (also some other factors like my history) I think I am into woman as well as men. But can you base all this on your own speculations or do you need some sort of experience with woman? Has it happened that someone who genuinly thought she was into girls felt nothing when she finally kissed one? And finally, also a great worry of mine, is that if i'm totally honest with myself and believe that you can know all this without experience with woman, I lean towards homoromantic bisexual. This is because this whole questioning experience also focused on my relation with my boyfriend. The whole I-don't-miss-him thing bothered me for a long time. After reading this forum, I thought that this could be a lack of romance, or emotional commitment? So this all boils down to the question whether you're able to know what you prefer without having any experience. TL;DR Does any of you experience an intensification of feelings towards the same gender after you accepted/noticed/questioned your sexuality? And will it last? Do you need experience to know you're into girls? Has it happened that someone who genuinly thought she was into girls felt nothing when she finally kissed one? If you don't really miss your boyfriend is it due to a lack of romantic involvement?
Hmmm ... Have you never thought about it in the past? Cuz if U haven't you're likely to be bi-curious. Although I dont really like that term, I'd say that maybe you're relationship wiyh your boyfriend is wearing thin... A bigger question, have you ever had a sexual fantasy about being with a woman? (kissing her, running your fingers along her breasts and her soft skin. Feeling your thighs meet as lips are locked. Opening up her legs and tasting her passionately and her tasting you (how does that make you feel, do you imagine it?))
so much like me, crazy.! I realized i'm attracted to women when I had a huge crush on a woman. after that, I suddenly started to check out girls, which is something i never did before, I didn't noticed girls at all! i was always checking out guys, and now I always look on girls like 90% of the time. At first my attraction was like 70% men 30%women, and now it's 5% men 95% women, my attraction toward women didn't stop to intensified. In the past I wanted to be in a relationship with a man, and now all I think about is to be with a woman, kiss a woman, and probably marry a woman. I can't tell you if it last because i have those feeling only for a month.. but I do think it will last for a long long long long long time, probably forever?. like you, something that really bothers me is that i'm afraid that when i'll be with a woman, I won't like it. Maybe it will be too weird? i don't know.. I never kissed a girl. In my opinion you don't neet experience to know if u r into girls, you just feel it. you can feel the physical and the emotional attraction, and that's how you know if you are into girls or not. I heard a couple of stories about lesbians who kissed a girl for the first time and didn't feel anything special.. but when they kissed another woman, they felt those butterflys. so people shouldn't decide if they are into girls or not according to the first kiss.. you have to see how you feel about it for the long term. I don't really know what to think about your situation with your boyfriend, but I can tell you that I know i'm bisexual homoromantic because of the fact that I was never able to connect with men.. I can feel physical attraction but I never want to date with them, kiss them and all that stuff. I can see myself only with a woman. I don't want to be with someone only because I think he's hot
First of all, thank you for your replies! It really means a lot to me. I don't know where you are referring to with 'it', but I assume you mean my sexuality? I noticed that I did certain things other girls did not really do, but it never got me questioning. Like I wanted to know what it was to kiss a girl since i hit puberty, I looked at other girls bodies when in the shower after sports, and did not know why girls had crushes on famous and apparently handsome guys. I never had a boyfriend until I was 19, and I can always tell which girl my bf is secretly staring at when he thinks i'm not looking. I just thought it was me appreciating attractive females, because guys also notice when an other guy is handsome. And I'm sorry, I might be bi-curious, I haven't ruled that one out, yet when you mentioned it I almost felt insulted. (no offense, just my first response..) Yes. And I know porn isn't a good indicator, but I don't really like straight porn (because it is male-oriented, I guess) and really like gay porn. Although most is really faked so I stick to the softporn series like 'the L word'. ...I don't know how the quoting of multiple posts works, so i'll just make a new reaction for FucSoc.. Sorry
I'm really glad you could identify with my story! I never really had a crush on a woman, if you rule out the girl in late preschool which I wanted to hang out with all the time and feel sad when she disagreed with me and way too happy when she made me a compliment. I think was able to, but subconciously never really allowed myself.. Indeed a lot of similarities! And yes, I havent been questioning for a long time, only a month. I still sometimes think I'm exaggerating. But there are so many small indications, I feel I really need to find out where i'm into, boys, girls or both. I'm currently still finding out whether I 'feel' enough attraction. Thanks for this info, of course it matters which girl you kiss and if you're ready to. I also don't click with every guy I meet.. ---------- Post added 25th Jul 2013 at 12:19 AM ---------- Contemplating this also at the moment. I really fell for my BFs personality. I don't think I was ever head over heels in love with him but there sure is a lot of chemistry. I trust him completely, and really enjoy his companionship. Sexually, there are days I'm just not in the mood untill he convinces me otherwise. Yet it is always good. Other days I don't need any motivation at all. I don't think he is particularly attractive. I respect him and he is also the best friend I could ever wish for. I just.. don't see us starting a family. As to men in general.. He is my first, and I didn't have a relationship until I was 19. I don't crush easily on someone. I had one crush on a guy that felt pretty genuine, but never followed up with it because I didn't want to cheat, and he had to leave in 3 weeks. Oh, and I had a pretty bad crush on a guy when I was 13. I've only known him for 2 weeks, but it took me months to get over it, never had that feeling again later in life though.. (I hope this answers your question, at this stage I doubt everything so I don't even know what to think of the crushes anymore) And how good is the L word? I could highly recommend it to anyone.
