Hi. This is my first post, and I'm glad that I found this site because I'm hoping to get some advice Okay, so first off I'm very confused about my sexuality. When I was in about grade 7 I started to have "crushes" on boys. (I didn't really like them, but other girls started to get boyfriends and such. (I wasn't very popular in school, and I felt pressured to fit in.)) At the end of grade 7 I confided to a friend (whom I thought I could trust), that I thought I liked girls. That was a stupid idea. Soon, everyone knew, and I had to write it off as a joke. A few years and many many confusing thoughts/ experiences later, I started thinking that perhaps I was bisexual. But as the months and years passed, I found myself being increasingly more attracted to women, and increasingly unattracted to men. I'll see some guy and I'll be like: "Wow. He's fine!" But the thought of actually being in a relationship or having sex with a man pretty much completely turns me off. I just like to look at them (if that makes sense) hahah. I can't picture myself ever getting married to a man, or having kids with one. (I had this short-lived long-distance relationship with a guy I met. We would talk all the time, but I sort of thought of it more as a friendship. We dedcided to try out sexting, but it seems that I could only enjoy myself if I fantisized that his character was a woman. (I apologize if this is TMI.)) Anyways, long story short; I'm really struggling with myself right now. It's like I'm sort of having trouble accepting myself because I come from a family that is extremely traditional :bang: . I'm just looking for any support or advice that anyone is willing to give. Thanks for listening.
After reading your story, it sounds like you may be a homosexual. Have you been in a relationship with anyone before? If so, of which gender and how long was the relationship? Have you ever had any feelings, emotional or physical, for males? You didn't mention much about your attraction to females. Are you aroused by them, or just want to be in a relationship?
I might not be able to assist you, but I can definitely relate. (I will try my best to help though!) I remember in grammar school, every girl was talking about "cute/hot boys" and I didn't really care. I didn't understand what they saw in those "cute/hot boys"; they just looked like people to me. I came out as bisexual in the 6th grade and it spread around a lot as well, but I just didn't say much about it. From what I've seen (and as people on this forum have explained), it's not uncommon to see the opposite gender as attractive but not want to have sexual relations/relationships with them. You just appreciate their nice looks. I do the same thing; There are some men that are pretty darn attractive/good-looking, however, that doesn't necessarily mean you're sexually/romantically attracted to them. Based on what you've written, I would figure that you're a lesbian (the obviously strong attraction to women, no interest in marrying a man [Would you want to marry a woman?], having to imagine the boyfriend's character as a woman in order to enjoy yourself and considering the relationship a friendship) - but you don't have to put strict labels on yourself now if you don't want to. You also don't have to tell your family right away, I would say tell them when you really feel it's right. I wouldn't know how to deal with a traditionalist family because I did not grow up with a lot of "tradition", minus some religion. Another person in the forum might be able to help you out more on that topic. If you're in a college/university, you can always join an LGBT community/club and meet new people, or if you're in a town/city that has an LGBT group you can always look into it. You never know, you might meet some cool folks, or an interesting ladyperson. I hope this helps some.
Thanks for the replies CuriousBunny: In answer to your questions: No. I haven't ever had a real serious relationship before. I was in one with a guy my age which only lasted about a week and a half. (but I did it as a favour for him to help him get out of an abusive relationship, so it doesn't really count.) I had a short long-distance relationship with another guy that lasted about a month and a half (as I mentioned before). Also, this girl and I had a mutual attraction once, but there were some circumstances that didn't allow us to see each other, so we moved on. And yes, I am attracted to women, and I would like a relationship if I can meet the right girl iHateThinking; I'm glad that someone can relate That's spot-on about the "cute boys" thing. One of the girls in my class would be like: "OMG he's so hot! Look at his muscles/ huge arms/ six pack/etc." I couldn't understand it haha. And I've searched around but unfortunately I can't find any LGBT groups around here (that I could have access to anyhow.) But i'm hoping that I could at least find someone that I can talk to about this stuff. Thanks again. Cheers.
People in your situation are actually far more common than they may seem. Statistically speaking, one in every 10-20 people is (LGBT for short). If you look harder, I'm sure you can find someone in your situation to speak with.
