bi but in heteronormative monog relationship... feeling stupid

Such is the bisexual dilemma lol.

But seriously, I can definitely relate. I have been in the same situation before. If it helps, understand that it is equally frustrating being in a same -sex relationship and having people assume that you're gay. One thing that has helped me is putting a bi flag on my car and wearing a rainbow bracelet.

In the end, though, what other people think doesn't matter on the long run. You are active for LGBT rights, have a boyfriend you love, and seem to be very comfortable with your sexuality. Congratulatoons on being awesome :eusa_clap.

 

Well, is there any particular reason you would need to come out as bi to any of these people for whom you believe it would cause problems? If everyone knows you as heterosexual and you're in a longtime heteronormative relationship with a man, some people might question your motives in why you suddenly feel the need to tell you are bisexual now. Besides people potentially thinking you are just a lesbian in hiding, some might think you are just saying it for attention or trying to score gay cred with gay friends while living an otherwise straight life...just make sure to have an answer ready to explain why you felt the need to come out now, to dispel any of these other notions people might get.

If you're already in monogamous relationship with a man, do you expect there will ever be an occasion in which you will actually seek a sexual relationship with a woman? Is that something you actually want to explore, or is it just a theoretical issue?

You'll just have to weigh the risk-reward ratio as to whether to come out about your inner secret to each individual. But I guess that's part of the privilege of being a bisexual in a heteronormative relationship...when I identified as bi I used to think I would just marry a woman and thus I could be proudly out as bi when among LGBT friends but seem totally straight when around my family or homophobic people. However that plan fell apart, for a variety of reasons...

But maybe you should tell your boyfriend, so the two of you can talk about girls you like together.

 

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I'm sorry, but no. Don't worry about explaining yourself and coming up with "good enough reasons" to be talking about this. You want to talk about it, its important to you, and that's that.

What you need to find is someone that is able to listen to you without judging you or demanding an explanation from you, which is harder than it sounds.

Until you find that person then feel free to use EC and maybe think about talking to an LGBT friendly therapist if you are inclined?

And hell no you aren't stupid and this matters as long as it matters to you.

At least that's my opinion on the whole situation.

 

Your way of thinking and the description of your orientation reminds me of myself. Well, I'm far mor confused, but I can definitely relate. I came out to a close friend, my mother and my boyfriend and talking about it made me feel better, so I suggest talking to your boyfriend, at least. Anyway, just wanted to say that your post helped me in an unexpected way.
Have a nice day. :lol: