I’m here because I’m just confused about my sexuality. And I don’t have anyone else to go to about it right now. So here goes nothing. I’ll try to keep it as short as possible. I’m 20, I’ll be 21 soon. Growing up, I was always inadvertently taught that I should be with a man. That being gay isn’t right. I hadn’t been interested in dating until two years ago, so that’s when I started to date guys. Out of the dates I’ve been on, there were three guys that I’d consider to be my type. But here’s the thing, I felt absolutely nothing. No romantic spark. No urge to do anything but go home, especially when I got an arm put around my shoulder or kissed. The kissing was the worst for me. I felt really uncomfortable. Of course, I have a bit of a tendency to overthink and worry so I know my nerves played some part. Now about the possibility of me being gay. I haven’t honestly thought about it until recently, since I started dating, but I’ve always had a pull towards girls. Even from a really young age. I wanted to be friends with the pretty girls. Hug girls. Sit right next to a (female) camp counselor who I adored. In middle school, I wasn’t noticing any of the guys, but how pretty the other girls were. I didn’t think anything of it at the time. It’s much more than just looking at a girl and appreciating that she’s pretty these days. I’ve graduated to imagining being in bed with one of my female professors and gym coaches. And it’s not just sexual thoughts. I imagine holding hands with girls. Cuddling up for movies. Simply just hanging out. And, at least in my mind, I love the idea of that. I mean, I nearly melted when that gym coach smiled at me. Also, I’m a virgin, and the idea of sex with a guy just makes me want to stay a virgin. I think I am at least bisexual. I've never had the chance to do anything with another girl. However, I love to be close to them. For example, I love it when you're sitting there but your legs are touching. Anyway, I just don’t know if I’m running away from guys because of my nerves or if I’m really just not into them. Then I also wonder if girls are just a fantasy and I’m straight. If it came down to it, how would I feel if a girl was asking me to date her? I’m just really confused! Sorry this is long. I’m not freaking out or anything, just honestly looking for feedback!
interesting. after reading what you put, gonna have to say that you probably are gay. you pretty much said it. you're not interested in guys and you've always been into females. it may be hard to take in at first where you're trying to grasp with the reality that you're into females even though you're aware of it, that in itself is another process.
Hey Wow, I've just read exactly my story (if you can call it "story"). What you are describing is the same way I was and still am feeling about guys and women. And some time ago I figured that I should just accept that I am gay. I'm feeling good with it, it just feels right and somehow I know it's always been that way. About you, you possibly might be gay or bisexual, but that's a thing that you've gotta find out for yourself. I haven't had anything with a women yet either, but I'm still pretty sure about it. It's just the way I see women and am interested in them a thousand times more than in any guy. And like you said, I like to be with them. Take your time, you'll figure it out.
Thanks for your reply. Yeah I'm honestly scared of the fact that I could be a lesbian. Not because I see it as a bad thing, just because the people in my life won't be very accepting. I'm definitely not coming out with anything until I'm sure though. I hope to get out into the world some more and meet people and just see what happens with me and women.
you sound pretty gay to me but only you can figure it out , carry on living your life and be open to falling for guys and girls and see where that takes you if you fall for a women that's great or a man that's great too, try not to be in such a hurry to label yourself just be aware of the possibility's that your not straight when looking for potential partners and come out when your ready too , good luck
Like I said I'm not freaking out about it right now It's just still new to me so I'm trying to sort my feelings out! I know I will figure it out in time! Thanks for taking the time to reply, I really appreciate it!
