How to accept yourself?

Takes a while, but I would say it's about looking at the positive outlook on it. And also coming to a determination that it doesn't determine who you are. A lot of us felt like coming out was going to feel like having leprosy and didn't want to deal with it head on. For me personally, my biggest fear was disapproval mixed with the fact that I didn't want people to change toward me. I didn't even want it to be positive change. I just wanted to be normal. Once you've accepted it, and that's a loose term because I STILL struggle with it from time to time because guys suck on the dating scene for me so far... then you can begin to move forward with your life. Don't let it consume you. Think about the positive things about being gay. Being an individual. Having a voice among your peers if you're out. Having the benefits of thinking like a woman and a man simultaneously lol.

 

Pat, you really think that being gay means you think like a man and a woman? I've never heard that.

OP, I am not sure about accepting. Is there really something to accept? You are looking for a soulmate and you are feeling like you will more likely find your ideal partner among men.
You make it sound like it is a bad thing that you have to accept. Do you really feel that way?

 

Do all gays think like a man and a women at the same time?

I do feel like I have a feminine side, which to me, means having a female side.

But I like being a dude so much more than a female,

But I think females are more beautiful, just not on the sexual end.for my body

 

I accept myself because I am as I am and there's nothing wrong with what I am. I like being unique. In fact, by and large most people think being unique is pretty cool. People idolize singers and sports stars because they are abnormal. People take pictures of rainbows and amazing sunsets and unusual geographic features and other 'non-normal' things. They don't pay much attention at all to the merely 'normal'.

Yes, liking cock makes you a bit different from most. So would being left handed (if you were). So would liking a particular band that most don't care for or having your favorite food be something many people can't stand. If you were unique in your taste in music or food, you probably wouldn't feel bad about it. Why should your taste in sex be something to feel bad about?

Beyond that, liking cock is just one part of you. It doesn't define who you are. Nor is it something to hide or feel ashamed of, like one might feel bad about having crooked toes or a mole on the inside of their arm or something. It just is and it hurts no one. Those who choose to feel bothered by it are doing just that: choosing to be bothered. That's their problem, not yours.

Liking cock doesn't stop you from doing pretty much anything you may want to do. So why not accept it?

Todd

 

I'm not gay myself (bi and transgender so that has to count for something) but thing is, there's nothing you can do about not being gay. And that's something you've got to come to terms with- being gay is just as part of you as the color of your hair, the things you're into, your voice, etc. Need not define you, but it's a gear in the workings that make you- you.

Being gay won't stop you from doing what you want to do in life. Still possible to raise a family, have a career, be a musician or whatever your aspiration in life is.

It's rough at times to be LGBT. Not denying that. But the important thing is to hold your head high and accept yourself.

 

Sorry, didn't mean for it to be thought of as ALL. I was speaking of myself. I only think like a woman because I was raised by a single mom. So my experiences are different. It all depends on how you come up in my opinion and who your influences were. The only time I think like a man is when I'm horny and in that moment, I'm the opposite of everything I normally am. I'm more aggressive, demanding sexually. I always know when I'm not into someone when I care more about their body than anything they have to say. I was just trying to give examples about what I like character wise as a gay guy.