Hi, basically I'm 18 and I recently came out after the support of a few people on here (and alcohol). I was really up for trying "gay things" and seeing how it makes me feel, problem is, things aren't moving fast enough. I'm stuck in this dilemma right now, amongst friends falling out, my grandad having cancer and me struggling to mature enough to work in an office environment. The point of all this though is that I'm at work and I'm constantly fantasising about this girl I work with. It was like that before I came out. Thing is I don't really look at other girls like that now, although I am still in the routine of checking girls out. I never feel anything though, no sexual tug. I think I'm supressing my emotions and replacing them with this girl. She is gorgeous and I feel jealous when she mentions other guys. I do think about her in a sexual way but its only just come back. For about a week after I came out I felt great and I figured I was over that. Apparently not. Maybe it was because my best friend Jake got with her on the weekend and I was simply sour because I couldn't get with her when I thought I was straight. None of this makes sense to me because I was really hyped about being gay and wanted to get out there but nothing ever happens when I go out. Another problem, slightly related, I usually get a lust for guys when I've been drinking. The night I came out I danced with this guy Tom and we kissed. It was magical. I was so happy for that short amount of time. I've also had another experience whilst drinking and that was great too. I'm wondering if I'm supressing my emotions and urges whilst sober and then when I get drunk it all comes out. I'm afraid that if this is the case then I could be facing a drinking problem. I've had problems with drinking previously so I need to think this one through carefully. Any advice is greatly appreciated! Sorry for the essay!!
Maybe ur drawn to her for a nonsexual reason. Being gay has nothing to do with why you are drawn to her.
then why do I think about her sexually? ( cheers for focussing on that, the rest of it was ramble really, she is the root of my problem here)
I guess so! Its something I'll just have to get over really :/ nothings gonna happen with her and I don't look at other girls the same!
Where are your attractions otherwise? What do you think about when you masturbate (without porn)? What kind of porn do you look at?
